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Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:00:00

Are you someone who believes in yourself? Do you see yourself as your number 1 cheerleader? Do you know that you have limitless potential and that taking care of you means that you can achieve more than you ever imagined? Or do you have a friend or partner that believes in you more than you believe in yourself, maybe a family member? Or is it possible that you're actually missing that voice entirely from your life? Are you missing the voice that believes you have infinite potential? Today on The Grit Show, we're going to touch a little bit on the importance of believing in oneself. For bonus, I'm even going to share with you an inspirational story from the Marli Williams podcast that will give you a strong example of what can happen when you do believe in yourself.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:00:49

Welcome to The Grit Show, where our focus is growth on purpose. I'm your host, Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm honored to be part of this community as we journey together with our grit intact to learn more about how to thrive and how to get the most out of life. It means a lot that you are here today. As you listen, I encourage you to think of who may appreciate the tidbits of knowledge we are sharing and to take a moment to pass this along to them. Everyone appreciates a friend that thinks of them, and these conversations are meant to be shared and to spark even more connections.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:01:26

As I was putting together this episode, I was largely focused on the evolution of my word of the year, which we will talk more about in next week's episode. Because I realized, the belief in oneself is a cornerstone conversation that we have yet to have. I'm sure we've all heard the phrase, you are your own worst critic. But have we also been told that we need to be our own biggest support and cheerleader?

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:01:50

It's true. It's very important, actually. If you don't believe you can, it doesn't matter how many other people believe you can. If you're a parent, you probably experienced this with your own kids. It doesn't matter how much you know they're capable of. They have to know what they're capable of. Belief in oneself, knowing that you are capable, that you can celebrate your own successes and support yourself is paramount to achieving just about anything. So, if you're feeling stuck and you're not getting the things done you want to get done, and you're not getting to the places you want to be, the first thing you probably need to look at is, what's keeping you stuck? Is it something that you believe is impossible? Is it something that you don't believe about yourself being able to make it possible? This covers the entire gamut, whether it's finding a relationship, getting a specific job, changing your house and situation, having friends that bring you support and joy or a strong relationship with your kids or other family members? Whatever it is, you need to believe that you can have it, that you can do it and that it's possible. If you don't believe it's possible for you and your sister to ever get along, you won't. If you don't believe it's possible to have a job that you'll enjoy and you can get done in 8 hours a day, you won't ever have a job like that. If you don't believe it's possible to have a love of your life that gives to you and makes a huge impact on your life as well as you giving and making a huge impact on theirs, you're never going to find that relationship.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:03:31

So, believing is the first step and believing in yourself and believing in what you can do and what you can contribute and accomplish is the most important step. So, there's a chance if something you want isn't happening or if you're feeling stuck like we mentioned, that maybe the reason things aren't going has to do with belief or belief in yourself. So, if you don't believe in the job that it exists, the relationship exists, or that you can ever get out of your housing situation, the first step is to figure out why you don't think that's possible. What you currently believe that makes it not possible and what you need to believe to make that possible? What you believe about yourself or what you need to believe about yourself to be able to make that possible? Believing you are worthy of a relationship, believing that work opportunities do exist that align with your values and that align with what you love to do and that is possible is that first step. Believing that it's safe to be wealthy or successful. Those are all things you need to believe before they can happen. Your belief is the base of those things, and that's where all needs to start. Once you realize what it is you're having a hard time to believe or what you need to believe, you need to undo why it's so hard to believe or help yourself undo the reasons why it's so hard to believe that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:05:01

That's what we're looking at today is belief in oneself. Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you can accomplish anything you set out to accomplish? Do you believe that you have infinite potential? Do you believe you are worthy of wonderful things? Do you believe it is within your power to change your living situation, your partnership, your relationship, your job, where you live, what you do with your time, do you believe that you can do those things? I'm someone who often operates with my head, logical next step for things, but I don't always take the time to do that initial first step of what do I believe about the situation that might be holding me back? What do I need to believe about the situation that might help me move forward? And sometimes, those are beliefs about yourself. You and I have spent a decent amount of time together over the past 70 plus episodes. So, you've probably gotten the sense that I do have a rather strong belief in myself and what I'm capable of. And I think that that's a belief that not everyone has.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:06:18

you're looking at going into: 2024

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:06:49

time, as you're winding down: 2023

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:07:39

Look back and find those moments because oftentimes, they're there. They're just buried because it's so much easier to grab the reference, the times that didn't work out or the times that were harder. And you might have to dig a little deeper to find them, but find those incidences and find those little kernels in the past because your mind doesn't always see time as linear. So, you finding those examples of when things did work when you were strong, when you were successful, when you had a job, that you had the flexibility you needed, when you had a job, where you were able to exemplify your values, when you're in a relationship, when you felt supported, and you felt heard. When you find all these nuggets, when you had a hard conversation and you were able to express yourself well. When you find these things, just little snippets that can add up to these things, it can really help support your beliefs. So, that's the thing I'm leaving you with today is us thinking about us believing in ourselves and how important that is. Like, recognizing first how important that is that you need to believe in yourself more than anyone else does in order to accomplish things.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:08:47

And if there's an area where you need a little bit more belief in yourself, how you can go back and find examples or go back to your day and find examples of wins so you can get better about believing in yourself, cheering for yourself, supporting yourself so that you can have the most important belief, and the most important person in your corner, which is you. Know you can accomplish these great things that you need to set out to accomplish. Wherever they might be in whatever area of your life.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:09:15

So, next week, we're going to talk more about the word of the year and where I'm at with that conversation because I think that it all connects, but I really felt this cornerstone part of the conversation was someplace we needed to start first. So, I appreciate your patience with me as we dived into that for a little bit.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:09:34

And I also have a wonderful treat for you today because I have an episode from the Marli Williams podcast. Marli Williams – Let's Lead Together is a podcast that I am sharing with you because the beautiful thing is, this is a great example of somebody who was able to believe in themselves, and it's a beautiful example of how complicated that can be and how beautiful that can be. And I love this episode because it actually made me both gasp out loud, laugh out loud and brought tears to my eyes. So, it is a beautiful example of the Marli Williams podcast, but it's also a great opportunity for you to really connect with that need for belief and what can happen when you do believe in yourself and the steps you can take to do that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:22

The Marli Williams – Let’s Lead Together podcast is designed specifically for leaders, and it is so exciting because she has this way of connecting and being so genuine and really empowering her audience to gain clarity, and information, and have this brighter vision for how they can support and lead and really show up for others and be their most authentic self as well as embody leadership. She's had some great guests, some amazing conversations. Her episode that comes out tomorrow is focused on habits that really can support leaders. It's a great conversation around that and how to integrate those things, but it's a wonderful podcast that if you haven't checked out, you definitely should. We'll have the link in the show notes. So, Marli Williams – Lets’ lead Together is how you'd find it on Apple, Spotify, anywhere you listen to podcasts. Podcast.37by27.com is where you find all the podcasts that are in the Authentic Connections Podcast Network, and you should check it out.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:11:24

nd of some healthy habits for: 2024

Marli Williams [: 00:12:19

Hey, everyone. What's happening? I am super stoked to welcome you to the Marli Williams podcast where we will explore authentic leadership, transformational facilitation, and how to create epic experiences for your audiences every single time. I am your host, Marli Williams, bringing you thought provoking insights, expert interviews, and actionable strategies to unlock your potential as a leader, facilitator, and speaker. Thank you for joining me on this journey of growth, transformation, and impact. Let's Lead Together. The Marli Williams podcast, begins now. Let's dive in.

Marli Williams [: 00:13:02

Hey, everybody. What is happening? I am super stoked to dive into this podcast journey with you. This podcast is really all about leadership. And one of the questions that I get asked often is, how did you get to where you are now? What was your journey of transformation? How did you become a speaker and a facilitator and start leading events and workshops and retreats? And so, I thought I would kick things off by sharing my story with all of you.

Marli Williams [: 00:13:37

My journey of leadership over the past 20 years that I have been diving deep into studying transformational facilitation and how to really hold space for people to grow and change and transform their lives through workshops, retreats, and events. And so, that's what I'm going to do today, and welcome to the show. Welcome to the journey. And I'm super stoked, and I hope that it helps you kind of see yourself in your own leadership journey, whether you're at the beginning, the middle. You've been doing this work for a long time. I hope that there's something here for you.

Marli Williams [: 00:14:17

So, my journey begins when I was 19 years old. I decided to go on a 50-day Outward Bound course. And for those of you who don't know what Outward Bound is, essentially, I decided to go into the middle of the woods with a group of people that I didn't know for 50 days. That is almost 2 months. When I was 19 actually, during my freshman year of college, I had a mentor. My freshman year, she was the director of the leadership center on campus, and her name was Sarah Thompson. And I thought that Sarah Thompson was, like, the coolest human being I'd ever met. And she had done this thing called, Outward Bound. And I was like, well, if I'm going to be as cool as Sarah Thompson. I'm going to go do this Outward Bound thing.

Marli Williams [: 00:15:08

You know, my freshman year of college, I really, I had no idea what I wanted to do, and so it was really this opportunity for me to literally go into the woods and find myself. And while we were on our Outward Bound course, part of the experience was having a 3-day solo. I was in the middle of the wilderness by myself for 3 days. No food and just enough water to get by. A little tarp. A sleeping bag, not a whole lot. I remember getting dropped off and it was dark. It was raining. It was thundering. It was lightning. I definitely thought I was going to die.

Marli Williams [: 00:15:48

And, I mean, to be honest, I was terrified to be alone. I mean, it's one thing to be in the wilderness with a group of people, and it's another thing to be in the wilderness on your own. There I was with me, myself, my thoughts, my journal, a pen, and I had a lot of time to reflect. And one of the things that I love about things like outward bound or retreats is that they give us an opportunity to step out of our life and reflect on our life without actually being in it, without being in the day-to-day distractions and overwhelm and all the dings and buzzes and rings, and it really gives us a chance to reflect on our life. And I remember I wrote in my journal that my mission on this course and in my life is to help people realize their full potential.

Marli Williams [: 00:16:42

When I was 19 years old, I wrote that in a journal. And at the time, I probably had no idea what that meant. What that would mean, what that would look like. didn't write down, I want to be a motivational speaker, you know, or I want to lead a retreat. So, it was just, my mission on this course and in my life is to help people realize their full potential, and that has truly been my mission ever since. If I really look at what the thread and the through line is to everything that I've done, it really comes down to that. And that's what leadership is all about to me. It’s helping people realize their full potential to see an opportunity or something or someone to be better and holding and creating that space for that potential to be unleashed and fulfilled and explored.

Marli Williams [: 00:17:28

And I remember coming home from that Outward Bound course and just being so lit up. You know, I remember my instructors, again, just like Sarah Thompson, my outward bound instructors were these just remarkable humans. They were facilitators of transformation. I remember coming home from that outward bound course and going to my parents and being like, I figured it out. I figured out what I wanted to do with my life.

Marli Williams [: 00:17:53

I want to take people in the woods and make them cry, which is essentially what I do for a living as a professional camp counselor, transformational facilitator, whether it's in the woods, whether it's in a classroom, whether it's in a big conference center, the idea of why it's like I want to take people in the woods and make them cry is, when we are expressing and feeling that level of emotion, that is when transformation occurs. It's not a requirement for it, but when it does happen, it's helping people shift out of all of these places where they feel stuck, where they feel alone, where they feel held back, and really holding and creating the space. You know, one of my big philosophies as a transformational facilitator is like, I am a stand for transformation. Meaning, when you walk out of this room today, you will be different than how you walked in it. And my mission on this podcast is really to help people like you, leaders, speakers, coaches, facilitators, really unpack, really understand how to deliver, facilitate, create a transformational experience and what the difference is between a transactional presentation and a transformational experience. And so, after that Outward Bound course, I was like on a freaking mission. I was like, okay. This is what I want to do, and I started researching all of the best outdoor education programs in the country. And I applied to different schools because at the time I was living in Illinois, not the most outdoorsy place in all the world, and I ended up transferring schools my junior year to University of New Hampshire to major in outdoor education.

Marli Williams [: 00:19:47

So, I tell people I, like, legitimately have a degree in being camp counselor. I took classes like group leadership and winter backpacking and white-water canoeing and top rope rock climbing and challenge course management and studying outdoor education, it was really the idea was using the outdoors as a means for creating personal growth and transformation. It was all of the metaphors of, you know, what does it mean to do things that are outside of your comfort zone to challenge yourself to self-awareness, self-reliance, group dynamics, communication, leadership, goal setting, motivation, and realizing, like, what you're capable of when you do something that scares you, when you push yourself, when you're in an environment that's unfamiliar and you don't think that you can make it and you do. Or, you know, how do you ask for help along the way? All of these things that as a wilderness guide, I had a mentor say to me and then I would tell this to a lot of my students is they would say if what we do out here doesn't make you a better person when you leave here and you go home to your “real world life”, then I have failed you as a guide. And that's one of the philosophies and the principles of outdoor education is what's called the transference of learning. Meaning, you know, what did you learn on that rock climb where you didn't make it to the top? What's a time in your life where you went for something and it didn't work out or you “failed”? What did you learn about yourself or what did you learn about yourself when you were scared of rock climbing from that crazy potato chip rock in Wyoming and realize, like, it's okay for me to be scared, and I can keep going. I don't have to let fear stop me, but learning that fear is just a part of the journey. So, how does that change how I navigate my life when I leave here? Oh, I can do scary things and be okay.

Marli Williams [: 00:21:58

And so, again, I majored in outdoor education and got to study with incredible mentors and incredible people who were masters of their craft. And I remember, you know, one of my mentors in college, her name was Lori Gullen and she was just a phenomenal facilitator and mentor and guide. I remember being like, I want to be there now. I want to be that amazing right now, and she had been doing this work for decades. And the reason why she was so good at it is because she had done it for so long. It was just such an important reminder to any of you out there who are at the beginning of your journey is, you know, we want to be able to, like, get on stage and be the best speaker ever for our first talk or deliver our best workshop for your first workshop or your best retreat ever for your first retreat. And it's like the only way is through. The only way that we learn how to do this and the only way you learn how to be a better speaker is by getting on stage and doing the thing.

Marli Williams [: 00:23:03

And that's one of the things I loved and appreciated about my program is because we got so many opportunities to lead different groups in different ways to get feedback. One of the parts of my college degree was that I had to do a summer internship. So, the summer after I graduated, I moved to Breckenridge, Colorado, and I did an internship at the Breckenridge Outdoor Education Center, which is an adaptive outdoor education learning environment. It has accessible ropes course for people in wheelchairs, I worked with people who had multiple sclerosis, who had cancer, who had brain injuries. I worked with all sorts of people, and, really, it was like having the outdoors be accessible for all and learning how to facilitate outdoor experiences for different groups from different walks of life. And I loved living in Breckenridge, and I loved being a wilderness guide. And from there, I did a lot of seasonal work, whether it was 3 to 6 months, did wilderness therapy for a while. I lived in Salt Lake. I worked at the Women's Wilderness Institute. I did all sorts of different jobs, one of which was apprenticeship at The Eagle Rock School in Estes Park, Colorado, it was an AmeriCorps fellowship. That's what it was. And it was a yearlong commitment where I worked at a residential high school with students, they were not successful in traditional education for whatever reason, lots of different reasons. And my job there, I was the outdoor education fellow, and we led 21-day backpacking trips for incoming freshmen as their orientation to the school and really learning about themselves and about leadership and about being part of a team and a community, and it was one of the most amazing jobs I've ever had. It was one of the hardest jobs I've ever had. I had an incredible mentor there again. His name was Jacques, and I learned so much from him about how to work with students that were challenging or who grew up in challenging environments and really be a guide and a mentor and a role model and a leader for them.

Marli Williams [: 00:25:16

I loved these immersive learning environments, and I cannot emphasize the importance enough of having a guide, having a mentor, having someone who is better than you to learn from. I mean, that is part of how I've got to where I am today, hands down. After Eagle Rock, again, I kept working at these seasonal outdoor education jobs, and while I was looking at jobs, I saw this posting. It was a director of outdoor programs at Dartmouth College, and I was like, that sounds pretty great. You know, I was in leadership in college. I was an RA. I loved working with college students, and I love the outdoors, and I thought that that would be a great next step to take to move beyond the seasonal work as this wilderness guide and really step into a more director role. And I remember looking at the required degrees, and it said master's in education, specifically in student affairs administration, which I had never heard about before, but I was like, okay. I applied for grad school, and I only applied to one school because I really wanted to go to Colorado State University, and I found out on my 25th birthday that I did not get in to grad school, heartbroken. I was living in Boulder, Colorado at the time. I became a full-time barista, which was actually one of my favorite jobs that I've ever had. I love coffee. I love making people happy. I love connecting with people. Great combination of things.

Marli Williams [: 00:26:43

Applied to grad school again. 3 schools this time, Colorado State, Western Washington University, and University of Vermont. All beautiful places, all have these amazing student affairs administration programs. And luckily, I got into grad school at Western Washington University in Bellingham, which was what brought me out to the Pacific Northwest. And I remember walking around Bellingham, walking around the campus, and just feeling like, oh, this is home. I love the energy of the Pacific Northwest, the people, the vibe, and while I was in grad school there, I got to do my internship in the outdoor center. And one of the things that I learned while I was in my undergrad is this thing called outdoor orientation programs, and Western Washington University was a huge recreation mecca, Bellingham with the mountains and the hiking and the kayaking and the skiing, I decided in my internship to create an outdoor orientation trip program that ultimately, I called WOOT, which stands for the Western Outdoor Orientation Trip Program. It was a weeklong backpacking trip with incoming freshmen to really help them build courage and confidence and community as they entered in this new community, this new journey.

Marli Williams [: 00:28:04

I love the idea of, like, rites of passage. Right? You're leaving behind the familiar. You're taking this new adventure, you're creating a new identity, leaving home for the first time, and really providing them a place to land. And that trip was profound for me, for the students, and I was like, this is what I want to do. I want to continue to run this program. Meanwhile, I graduate with my master's degree, and that was part of my internship, and I got a job in a different department on campus as an academic support coordinator working with first generation college students. So, I was pretty much like a life coach for college students and helping them navigate the university and find their passion and choose their major and learn things like goal setting and student success and motivation and all the things that maybe students who didn't have parents who went to college, they didn't always learn or have those skills coming in? So, I get this job and I said, I fully accept this job and I want to keep this program going on the side. So, I was able to continue to run WOOT and have this full-time job at a university in this beautiful town that I love to live in, and WOOT kept growing bigger and bigger, and we went from 1 trip to 3 trips to 5 trips to 7 trips, and it was becoming bigger than what I could handle kind of on the side. So, I put this, like, 20-page proposal together, and I said, this is how I could make my position sustainable, and here's how it could pay for itself, and here's the retention rates, and here's all these things that the people at the university care about. And to make a very long story short, they ultimately ended up hiring someone else to run the program that I started, and I was devastated. You know, I thought that that was my goal, you know, to run an outdoor program at a university. That was the mission, and I was just totally heartbroken. I created this thing from scratch, blood, sweat, tears, time, weekends. I created the training and the curriculum and the content and the different types of trips, and it was something that I loved, I believed in, the students that went on the trips, and the community that got built from that whole program.

Marli Williams [: 00:30:26

From that point forward, I made a decision that I never want to create something that can get taken away from me because it wasn't mine anymore, even though I had created it. And that as heartbreaking as it was, was really the catalyst to my journey as an entrepreneur. I started leading my own retreats and putting on my own workshops, and people started asking me to speak at different events like the employee of the year ceremony or celebration. I had friends who worked at different universities and colleges, and they would invite me to speak to their students at the leadership conferences.

Marli Williams [: 00:31:11

And one of my jobs actually was hiring speakers to come speak to my students, and I would, you know, invite them out to lunch and pick their brain and ask them to be my mentor, and I hired a coach to help me really figure out, like, how do I get paid to speak ultimately? And I found mentors. I found communities, I found coaches. I started going to this event in Portland, Oregon called the World Domination Summit, where I met other entrepreneurs and leaders and speakers and coaches and, like, just diving into this world of what would it look like to go out on my own and lead my own programs, workshops, retreats, events. And I decided, this was going to be my last year in my job, and I had to prove to myself that I could make money doing this work. So, in my last year at my job, I was able to generate over $10,000 in business as a speaker and a coach and leading retreats. It was like a combination of different things, and, ultimately, that gave me the confidence to leave my full time steady stable job from the university, and it's hard to leave something that is familiar, that consistent. And you hear so many stories of people saying, like, I had this corporate job that I hated and I finally left it, you know? And the thing about it is I didn't hate my job. I loved working with the students that I was working with, but it just felt limiting.

Marli Williams [: 00:32:47

I felt like I was being held back, like there was something more out there for me and maybe you have felt that way in your life. Like, one of the things that I oftentimes tell people is we don't have to wait for our life to suck to want to change it. My job didn't suck. I was just ready for more, and yet there are fears. There are doubts. Can I really do this? Can I really be successful? And I remember it was the fall before I was going to leave, and there was an opening for being a professor in the leadership studies department. And I was like, oh, well, maybe that's like kind of like a halfway, like a stepping stone. Like, I can work part time as a professor, teach a class or two, still be connected to the university as this kind of like safety net. And I applied for the job. I had to do a demonstration of teaching, and ultimately, I got offered a position. To be a part time professor. I really had to sit with myself and make a decision about what to do. And I thought to myself, the only reason I would take this job is out of fear that I couldn't really make it on my own, that I had to have the safety of the university to fall back on. And so, the only reason I would take this job was because of fear, and I decided I walked into this woman's office who was a mentor of mine, who had offered me the job, and I turned it down. And I told myself, I want to go all in on me. All in on my dreams, on my goals, on my hopes, on my vision. All in. Not half in, all in. That was a bold move and a bold choice.

Marli Williams [: 00:34:39

t should I say? And he said, $: 2500

Marli Williams [: 00:36:13

do it. And then I upped it to: 3500

Marli Williams [: 00:37:19

y full-time job at the end of: 2015

Marli Williams [: 00:39:19

And the idea is, like, you know, it can be lonely at the top. It can be lonely to lead. It can be lonely to be a community builder, to lead a team of people, to be a speaker. The tagline for this podcast is Let's Lead Together. And I really want to help other leaders, coaches, and speakers cultivate their ability to create transformation in other people's lives and interview mentors of mine, guest experts, people who geek out on facilitation, on transformation, on leadership. And one of the things that I love as I reflect back on my journey is just, again, how many mentors I had and how one little insight or strategy or tool or perspective can change the way that you lead. And so, you know, my hope is to provide some amazing interviews, again, actionable insights and tools and tips, techniques, takeaways, and things that you can integrate and apply right away when you listen to this podcast. My hope for our time together today is that you got to learn a little bit more about me, about my background, about my journey, about my story, what brings me to this work, why I love it so much, why I'm so passionate about it. And my hope is that you will join us on this journey and that you will learn things to help you do what you do even better than you already are. So, thank you for joining us today, and I can't wait to see you next time.

Marli Williams [: 00:41:01

Thank you for joining us on another inspiring episode of the Marli Williams podcast. We hope you're leaving here with renewed energy and valuable insights to fuel your leadership, coaching, and speaking endeavors. I'd love to invite you to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast to help us reach more aspiring leaders and speakers like you. We have more exciting episodes and remarkable guests lined up, so make sure to tune in next time. Until then, keep leading with purpose, coaching with heart, and speaking with conviction. This is Marli Williams signing off. See you next week.