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Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:00:00

So much of who we are is made up by what we believe, what we believe about ourselves, about others, about what is actually possible. One of my favorite tools that I don't use often enough is stopping to consider what I might need to believe in order to step into the next beautiful phase of my life or to be able to experience what I'm truly looking for. Today, I invite you to join me in exploring this tool and how you might be able to use this to be able to believe a little more about what you really want to be achieving in your life. Welcome to The Grit Show. Growth on purpose I'm your host, Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm happy to be here with you as your guide. For all of us growing together as seekers and thrivers, it is July, which means we are halfway through the year, which is very hard for me to believe. And what better time for us to revisit our word of the year than July and halfway through the year? Do you have one yet? Are you familiar with this concept? In episode 73, 28 and 33, we talk about having a word of the year and what a word of the year is. I'll put links in the show notes in case you want to go back and to revisit that and in case that's helpful for you, in case you are familiar with this and you haven't done this before, you don't need to wait until January to come up with a word of the year.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:01:38

You can do it whenever it's helpful for you. In fact, someone I greatly admire chooses hers in the spring because that's when she feels like new beginnings really start, rather than in the dark depths of January, which makes perfect sense to me. It's not about when you do it as much as what you do with it. When you do choose a word of the year, if you've been around or if you go back and listen to episodes, you'll understand that when I choose my words of the year, they have a large amount of power and there's something that I kind of turn into my bedrock or something that I reflect back on throughout the year and they build upon each other and I go back and reflect on words I've had in the past. In fact, the word grace is one of my previous words of the year, and it's something we're going to talk about in a future solo episode to a little bit more depth because it has been something that has been very powerful for me. In fact, my word of the year in 2023 is one of the big reasons why I postponed my wedding an entire year until 2024 because I realized that I wasn't savoring my wedding. There was too much going on and there was a lot of stress and it was becoming harder to savor things because of all the things that were happening. And I'm so glad for that decision.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:02:56

And my wedding was amazing in 2024, and it was really helpful to have award of the year to help me kind of narrow that focus and figure out what was most important. And making the wedding happen exactly at that time was less important than me really savoring the wedding and for it to be all that me and love of my life wanted it to be. So words of the year have been pretty powerful for me, which is why it's important for us to revisit that concept and look at them. And for 2024, the word that landed on was believe. And I realized that there was a lot of things I was having a hard time believing, or trusting, so to speak. And one friend actually wondered if I shouldn't have chosen. No part of me wondered if trusting, like I said when I was just talking about it, wouldn't have been a better term. But believe is kind of the alchemy of both knowing and trusting, right? It's trusting in the unknowable and bringing both those pieces together.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:04:03

Which is why believe ultimately went out for me as my word of the year. Recently, we were away celebrating a milestone birthday for the love of my life, and I asked him a question that helped prompt me deciding I should be doing this episode. I asked him what he needed to believe in order to make X Dream a reality. I was so impressed and surprised at how quickly he answered it, how tangible his answer was, and how achievable it made that dream. It's kind of incredible when you break it down in that way. It's his dream. So I am going to keep that dream and that conversation to us. But I'm definitely going to share with you the way of thinking and framing that really helped it become so clear and so powerful to have a path towards achieving something like that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:04:53

And it was valuable for me because again, I was the one that asked the question. This is a way that I think about things, and yet it's not a tool I use often enough. I don't stop to ask myself, what do I need to believe in order to achieve something, in order to see something, in order to change the way these outcomes are happening? What do I need to believe in order to change this? And it is my word of the year and one that I want to be able to engage for the last half of 2024. So part of our conversation today is looking more closely at that concept of what you need to believe in order to achieve some things in your life, and if that is a useful tool for you to be able to implement as you are making decisions, and also for you to take a moment to reflect on your word of the year, what it was, and if you've been using it. Sometimes I've been surprised at how my word of the year has crept in, even if I haven't been paying as much attention to it as I intended or I planned. So this might be a good time for you to remember, if you did have a word of the year, what was your word and how might you have been implementing it, using it, having it show up in your life? And how might you have intentions in the last half of 2024 to integrate it even more, to make it stand out even stronger and show up for you in a way that you can really see it and have it make a difference and have it become part of that bedrock, part of the foundation of how you're moving forward. So if your word was completion, if your word was grace, as I've mentioned, was mine in the past, like, what have you done to give yourself grace in the last six months? And what can you do in the coming six months to continue doing that and take it to that next level? So you're doing those reminders. Was it gratitude? That was one of my words.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:06:54

I love that word. I love that practice. So was it something that you did start the year off strong with gratitude and implementing gratitude and having a regular practice, but as the years gone on, it's kind of faded. But you have noticed that you've been a little more grateful for things and you have had that as a stronger reflection and you just want to dial that up and implement that stronger as you finish out the year. So to think about your word of the year as part of this halfway marker for 2024 and see how that looks for you and also for us to look a little bit more about this concept of what do you need to believe in order to achieve what you are wanting to implement a little bit more in your life. So the first part of that conversation that it started with, with me and my love was us actually knowing what that dream might be. Right? What is the thing you want? What is that next phase, that next thing that you're wanting more of in your life? Is it an accomplishment either in your personal life, in your career, with your family, something more you want to have in your life? Is it something you've been ruminating about and wanting to move towards? It can be anything, right? And then the next question is, what do you need to believe in order to make that possible? So, with my business, most days, I need to believe that I can do what I love, that I can help purpose driven women create a podcast that they are meant for, while still having the ability to savor my life and the important people and things that I also enjoy and care about, while making that powerful impact and not having it take over my life, doing this incredible work that I love. Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:08:40

So, for me, I need to believe it's possible to have both. To be able to make a big impact and do incredible things in my career while still being able to have incredible relationships and exciting hobbies and things that I love outside of my work, right? And so I need to believe that with every bit of me and know that that's possible before it will ever be possible. If I don't believe it, it will never be possible. So that's the very first step. And that's part of why my word of the year was believe, was to help me realize that I need to believe that in order to make those things happen. So what might be preventing me from believing that? And the long hours and the long days that I'm putting in are part of that, right? So first I need to find a way to reconcile reality with that belief. And my way of reconciling that is to know what the other realities are, right. And the fact that the first three to five years of a business of entrepreneurship is hard and it requires a lot of time.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:09:47

I had a good friend mention to me lately that when a plane takes off, it burns the majority of its fuel, and that launch and that takeoff, and then once it reaches cruising altitude, it's different. But that takeoff, that launch in entrepreneurship, that first three to five years like that, takes a lot of fuel to get it there. And so in that reality, me knowing that fact and knowing that piece of knowing that in the beginning, it's going to be different than when I reach cruising altitude. And that I need to be able to find a way to keep in mind that there is a cruising altitude that I'm going to reach, right. And know that I need to be able to figure out how to still savor and prioritize what is most important to me. But I'm still going to have the long days and define the balance. And so the balance for me might be that, you know, in order to remind myself, I can believe that, that I need to be able to take mini moon. My honeymoon was a mini moon.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:10:45

We didn't go, we were gone for like just less than a week, but I still took the six days and we still went somewhere beautiful and I still had full days and full time away from my work and was able to do that. And we went to Yellowstone last summer and I was able to fully be gone and be away. And over the holiday weekend for the 4 July, we were able to go to the lake and spend time with family and take full chunks of time away and be able to take those full pieces away and hire staff and do things so that I can take full chunks away. But no, there's still going to be long days for a foreseeable amount of time, but I still believe I can still have the impact and do this powerful work and still have those other important pieces that I can savor. And it's important for me to know, to believe that, to keep me going and keep me progressing, right? And some people do better believing blindly, right. And they just tell themselves that, like, I believe this, I believe this, but I need to look for evidence and put it up against reality to know, like, what I'm measuring. Because if I keep telling myself I believe I can have this incredible business and make a powerful impact and do stuff I love and still have all these things every time I work late and don't have that, it's dissonance, right. And it makes it harder for me to believe.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:12:01

So I had to look at the reality of, oh, well, in the first three to five years it's going to be long days, but I can still have, savor the time that I do have and still prioritize. And this is the way I can prioritize and this is the way I can balance it too. And so those long days I can just remember about this trip I'm taking or this day at the lake I'm coming up. And the other times that I have that still have that balance, right? So I know that I can still have both. So I need to have little reminders to help me keep that belief going. So sometimes we may need to borrow examples, right? And to find examples in our own life in the past if we can't find them today in the present, or we might need to borrow them from others and find other examples of people that are doing it. So it might be that I need to find other examples of other entrepreneurs who are living that life and having making a powerful impact while still able to enjoy their life and do the beautiful things they love and still be able to have those incredible relationships and incredible things they enjoy outside of work. Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:08

And someone I know that they're doing it legitimately and not just doing, showing the pieces of that, right. But legitimately making those things happen. So that might be something you can do. For instance, you might be struggling to get through a tough time right now that just doesn't make sense. And it feels like there are so many roadblocks that you keep running into, so you aren't sure that you're going to make it to the other side and you aren't sure why things aren't working out. And it makes it hard to believe that things are conspiring in your favor and that things will really work out for the best and everything will come together. And hopefully, you can look back in your own life and see a time where this has happened before. Right.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:13:49

So I know that I look back oftentimes and have lots of examples of when things worked out in unexpected ways that I didn't see ahead and didn't know the way that everything was going to come together in my, to my benefit, right. And I have love of my life, which was such an unexpected story of how beautifully that came together and how my journey and his journey just meant we got to come back together at this incredible point in our lives and share this, the road together going forward because of how everything conspired to come together. And I can now look back at that as an example of how things are conspiring to work out in my favor and people that know us and are dear to us and have heard our story and have witnessed some of our journeys and some of the challenges we both endure. The goddess here, because, again, when you know how hard the road was, you can see much more clearly how amazing it is that we've journeyed back together, like, for them, more than one of them. Like, this is an example of one of those things, of how well those things can work out, right. And it's evidence that things do come together in the end. And if youve listened to episode 35 with Josh and Diane, their story is definitely an excellent example of hope and finding love later in life and the ability to make that connection. If thats something that youre looking for and wanting.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:10

So thats an example that you can turn to and have for yourself as an example and an example that we now have, Robie and I, of things working out better than you can ever expect if you just trust that things are working out to your benefit. Is related to his birthday that he just had. One of his favorite bands of all time was playing in London on his birthday, and he's never been to London. I've been a few times and love it. Have not been in far too long. Was excited about the idea of going back. Didn't think we could get tickets. This band has been selling out all over the US when they've been playing, so didn't think we get tickets.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:15:53

Managed to get not only tickets, but floor seats for his birthday in London to see this band. So epic win for me to be for his, our first birthday of his. We're married. It's a milestone birthday. Get to this epic trip. It was going to be amazing and worked out perfectly, right, because this excellent opportunity to see this band, he loved this city. He's never really been to. That's an incredible place that I was excited to show him and share with him and great opportunity.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:16:27

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this on the podcast, but anyone who's close to me has heard me mention that where I currently live is not the easiest place to travel from. So that was a slight hindrance, him having time available, because, you know, we just traveled for our mini moon and we have plans to travel for a honeymoon and, you know, the next eight months. And so taking time, like, he was only going to take like three days off. So pretty quick trip for a long jump across the pond to London, but we're going to make it work and everything else. And so I went to go buy the tickets, which were pretty tricky. I was getting the tickets and they literally were not going through, which made no sense. So tried buying them. They didn't go through.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:17:07

Try it again. And then I had to leave to go somewhere because my schedule is pretty packed, I'm trying to get things done, and I just said, okay, I'll try again later. So the tickets didn't get through, so I didn't get to buy them, went into something else, and then found out that Robi couldn't get the time off of work because something's happening at work, which, of course, was not a happy thing. It was a few months in advance that he was asking for the time off. So we were both shocked, did not expect that to be a hindrance on this trip. So we weren't going to be going to London and reframed and reevaluated and decided to go with a weekend at the coast at a resort that he likes to go golfing and do the stay and play, which, of course, we've never done that before, and that's a bit of a splurge for his birthday. So we decided to do that instead, which he was excited about. But as the queen of birthdays, I was a little disappointed that we're going to a place we've already been.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:04

He'd already spent a different birthday of his there, and even though he didn't get to do the stay and play package, was a little disappointed. And we threw in doing something, some other things, like, we did glass blowing for and made glass floats, which is a cool thing. So we did add in some other cool things, but it was not flying to London to see his favorite band, right. With floor seats. So I was, admittedly a little disappointed, but we resolved and moved on, and I just told myself, okay, there's a reason this is working out this way. Just let it go. I'm not a fan of traveling from here all in the end, you know, it'll all work out in the end. And the tickets, like, we had to sell them through Ticketmasters.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:18:47

It's a little complex, the way they had to be sold, but we figured they'd work out and they weren't selling, and we were already, like, losing $100 on them, but, you know, whatever, trying to sell them. And the day before the concert, I was going to go and, like, sell them even less, like, half of what we got them for and just try to get rid of them. So we got some of the money back from the tickets, but had already resolved that. There have been times in life where I've got great deals on tickets, and it was great for the few weeks that we were so excited about this concert that was worth the money spent. Like, just let it go. Logged on and the concert was canceled. Canceled. Like, we're getting every cent we spent on those tickets back.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:19:26

So if everything had worked out, we would have flown to London and we would have been fine, right? Like, we're pretty resilient individuals who would have flown for London. His first trip to London could only been there for, like, three or four days because, like, flying there and back would have taken up a day each way and been there for this world. One trip to London for his birthday and the concert we would have gone to would have been canceled because someone in the band was sick, and we would have been there, and it would have been canceled. So in the end, it worked out so much better that he couldn't get the time off and that we didn't go to London and that we stayed in Oregon and did a nice little weekend at the coast for his birthday instead. Isn't that amazing? And who could have predicted that? Like, there's no way that we could have predicted that. Like, it sounded like I was doing the most epic birthday ever, right? And instead it wouldn't have been. It would have been, you know, quite a story, what we would have cope with anyway and whatever. But instead it's this great example of, like, everything inspiring in our favor and working out for us that us not going was actually a huge blessing and this wonderful thing in the end, right? So sometimes even when you are disappointed because things aren't working out the way you think and you think you're going to be losing all this money on these concert tickets and you didn't get to do this epic trip, et cetera, et cetera, that in the end, you're way better off with a weekend at the coast that was planned instead of this epic adventure you were trying to go on.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:20:58

So for us, this is this incredible example of how it works out for the best in the end. Like, you just gotta wait to the end to know sometimes it's gonna work out for the best in the end. And obviously our story is this never could have been predicted story as well. But I mean, if you want an example, you can just take our example of the cancelled concert, but if you just take the next best step and work through things that sometimes you can never predict the way it's going to come together in the end, but if you just flow with it and just go with it, like the plane tickets, if instead of getting furious and my computer, whatever reason it wasn't working for me to buy them, it made no sense. I couldn't buy them, but they didn't. And I was like, okay, for whatever reason, it's not working right now, let it go. Move on. And good thing I didn't get those tickets, right? That could have been a bigger stress because I wouldn't have gotten rid of them.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:21:59

We might have tried to go anyways and that would have been compounded stress if I had gotten those tickets, especially if I forced them to figure it out and was late to an appointment because I made those tickets work and then we still win. So sometimes it's better to just like, go with the flow and let things go when there's a lot of resistance, because maybe it's just not meant for you and something else better is meant for you. So for me, that's a really good example that everything is working out for you and through you. And sometimes you just need to let go and believe that it's all going to work out in the end. And maybe that is what you believe and props to you. Or maybe that's something you're working on. And this could be a good example for you to believe that everything's going to work out in the end. It's all going to come together in the end.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:22:47

You just got to wait till the end to know what the results going to be and have that patience. And even when it's tumultuous, even when you're frustrated because that you're trying to make the tickets go through and they're not going through, that maybe it's better they don't go through. And I still believe that there's a reason we got the tickets in the first place and that there was something held in that balance that for that time it really was glorious to think we were going to go to London and have this concert for those weeks and maybe that prevented some other thing from happening, right? That you can't even see all the ways things are coming together for you. Maybe for you. You just need to believe that you're going to ask some tests that you need to take from a driving test to a next level test for something you're doing at work, for some certification. Maybe you seem to believe that it's going to work out. And if it doesn't work out that there's something better meant for you or something different meant for you. Maybe that can help you believe that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:23:43

Like it's all going to work out and take the edge off of that stress. Maybe you need to believe that you can have a wedding worth savoring without any ridiculous antics, silly fights or negative experiences. Maybe you need to believe that you really are just what they want for this job, for this next opportunity. And if this opportunity comes together for you, it's because you are meant for it. And if it doesn't, there's something even better waiting for you. Because we can't always work out the timing, right. Don't always know what's going to happen. That first step is really just needing to figure out and deconstruct what you need to believe in order to make something possible and then just deconstructing why you don't believe that.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:24:26

What you need to lean on to make it more believable. Maybe you don't believe you can stick to routine of walking three days a week, right? So you need to kind of deconstruct why is that so hard to believe? Was it because you have a hard time following through and trusting yourself that you're going to follow through? If so, maybe going back to episode on 98 on habits and figuring out what can make you more likely to follow through might be helpful. Or maybe you need to figure out what you need to believe about yourself. Maybe you just believe that you're somebody who follows through and believe that you're going to show up for yourself and give yourself evidence of times you have shown up and you have followed through and make that something you believe. And it doesn't need to start with a romantic relationship using to believe that there's amazing, caring people in the world. And so you need to start reminding yourself of all the amazing, caring people you know, regardless of their romantic material or not, that just the amazing, caring people you know, there are good people, there are people we're trusting, there are people who have your back, there are people who want to do good things for you. And the more you believe that, the more you get closer to being ready to be in a relationship and to believe that somebody else can be that for you because you're already reminding your brain of all the other people and all the other times people have been there for you and supported you and had your back. And that makes it easier to know that you're going to find somebody, believe that you can have somebody as your partner in life that's going to do just that for you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:25:53

You just haven't met them yet. Or in my case, you met them a long time ago and, and they came back around. So for our grit wit today, that's what we're going to start you with. You're going to figure out what you want most, what that next thing is, that next transformation, that next place you want to be in, and what you need to believe in order to get that. Just ask yourself that question like, what do I need to believe in order to feel more healthy? In order to be more healthy, what do I need to believe about myself or believe about the world in order to do that? If I want to have a joyous, happy family that's more connected, what do I need to believe to make that possible? Do I need to believe that my kids really do love each other and want to spend time together? Do I just believe that? And what do I need to see differently in order to believe that? Can I start seeing that? Can I start believing that and find the evidence in the past of all those moments when they did connect and things did go well and things were positive. It all connects the stories we tell ourselves, and there's plenty of evidence of other pieces that we need to find and start seeing those things and believing those things and see what kind of difference it can make. I think it really can be powerful. So for my self maintenance, my self care for this past week with the holiday, we went and spent time with family and I did not.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:14

I worked half days in the morning and then completely cut myself off from work and enjoyed. And we did a little bit of back to back planning, of going straight from lunch with one family to lakes with other family members. But we fit it all in and had a wonderful time and took more time off than I normally do, and it was lovely. And we got to celebrate and enjoy time and connection with people we care about. And it was really nice. I really enjoyed it and believed that I could be away from work and really do that. And it helps that I've hired someone amazing who's helping out. So, yes, Noora, that's a shout out to you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:27:53

She's been a big help. Melissa's been a huge help since before my wedding to make it possible that I can even be away from my wedding. So sometimes it takes other people to help make it so I can have my. My self maintenance and my time away. Yes, very grateful for that. That in order for have my self care time, I need to have other people that can make it so I can step away and believe that I can be away and have that balance and have my time to savor and my connection. Because in order to be able to believe that I can have my business that makes this incredible impact by helping phenomenal women launch their podcasts that they're always. They've been meant to have.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:28:28

Right. In order to do that work, it takes a lot of energy. I also need to have my time away, and I need to have people I can trust picking up different pieces so that I can do that. I'm very grateful for that. And my self maintenance is me reminding myself that I can be away and have those, those times that I really savor. So whatever your word of the year is, if you don't have one, go back and listen to those episodes and possibly get you one halfway through the year. You still got six months to make the most of it. And you can just decide that maybe you do every summer if that's the better timing for you.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:29:02

But in the show notes, we'll have the links to our episode 73, 28 and 33, where we talked more about words of the year so you can look at that. But the big question is, what do you need to believe in order to make the next big thing happen in your life? I'm excited to hear about what that next big thing is for you and what you think you need to believe and how you can make that happen. Thanks for being here. Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Be sure to jump on over to instagram and follow us @the.grit.show. And if you aren't already following Authentic Connections Podcast Network @37by27, you should definitely be doing that as well. Don't forget, you are the only one of you that this world has got, and that means something.

Shawna Rodrigues [: 00:29:54

I'll be here next Tuesday. I hope you are too. Our channel.