Reflect, Learn, Grow; Shifts in Purpose and the Importance of Connection w/Billy Lahr -19

We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at connect@37by27.com.

Shawna Rodrigues 0:00

Today's guest came to a point in life where both changes were needed. And as he navigates his changes, he continues to find a way to connect with others who are on a similar path. We'll hear a lot more about that today. But I'll give you a teaser. One of them is the host of The Mindful Midlife Crisis, a podcast for people navigating the complexities and possibilities of life's second half.

Shawna Rodrigues 0:26

Welcome to The Grit Show. Growth on purpose. I'm glad you found us. I'm Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm honored to be leading you on today's journey. As part of this community growing together as seekers and thrivers. I hope you stick around and share with us what you gain from today's conversation.

Shawna Rodrigues 0:43

a lack of job satisfaction in: 2021

Billy Lahr 1:21

Hey, thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

Shawna Rodrigues 1:23

Yes, I'm so glad you were able to come today. I am excited to learn more about Reflect. Learn. Grow. Can you tell us just a little glimpse of what that is about?

Billy Lahr 1:33

Yeah, my friend, Jill Daylor. She's a life coach. And I'm transitioning out of this life of education. 15 as a teacher, and six as a dean, and I took a leave of absence that eventually turned into a resignation and did my travels and really trying to figure out, what is it that I want to do now that I'm no longer in education? And I still have this passion for helping people. But I didn't know how to take all the skills and all the knowledge and the experiences that I've had and wrap them up into some kind of program that I could teach, because I still enjoy the teaching process. But I knew that I wasn't gonna be able to do it by my self. I needed someone to work with. And so I reached out to my friend, Jill, and said, hey, are you interested in doing this? And she's simply texted me back, FF, yes. So we're creating this program, that six months, and it meets weekly. And at the beginning of each session, we do a mindful meditation, just to kind of settle you in and give you some time and some space to bring awareness to whatever it is that you're feeling, whether it's emotional, or whether it's physical, just so you can tune in and bring awareness to that moment. And then after that, we have you do what's called an emotional inventory. And the purpose of the emotional inventory is to provide you with an opportunity to truly think about what emotions you are bringing to that session. We can be feeling something on this happy end of the spectrum, and something on the sad end of the spectrum, something on the confused end of the spectrum. But what we're doing is we're using specific emotional words so that you're not just limited to saying things like, I'm happy, I'm sad. I'm excited. No, no, specifically, what is it that you're feeling? I'm feeling remorseful, I'm feeling grief. I'm feeling enthused, I'm feeling energized. You're getting those words, because those words are so important in communicating to others, just how you are feeling. Because we want to get specific with the emotions that are going on inside of us. And listen, I taught English for 15 years. So, are we developing vocabulary? Yes, we are. But in order to develop vocabulary for the purpose of communicating how we are feeling, not just to others, but to also really get a sense of it of ourselves, so that we don't just go to the top shelf word or the bottom shelf word because that's, that's the easy thing to do is to go to those two words. And then the other part of it too is examining what our default behaviors are. At times, I'm an introvert. At times, I display these other emotions, depending on the situation that I am in. In fact, there are other characteristics that I possess, but they're not default personality trait. And I would like to build those up. But in order to build those up, it's going to take a concentrated effort, I need to be intentional in doing so. We do a bit of a cultural biography so that we can examine the way that race, gender, socioeconomic class, and your religious background, your geography, how all of those things impact what it is that you want, and how it has shaped your experiences, how it has shaped your beliefs, how it has shaped values, so that you understand where your motivation is, where your drive is, and what's pulling you towards that, because that way you can live this more purpose filled life. So we're doing these deep dives on what makes you, you.

Shawna Rodrigues 5:53

Yeah.

Billy Lahr 5:54

And we're really excited to get going with it here. We are going to start the program in January, right in time for those people who like to do New Year's resolutions. If you want to turn the corner here, turn the corner like, learn and grow.

Shawna Rodrigues 6:10

That sounds very exciting. And the purpose is something that we talk about a decent amount. Growth on purpose is part of our tagline for The Grit Show. And so how do you define purpose?

Billy Lahr 6:19

You know, that's a good question, right? Your purpose is to figure out, what it is that you're really good at? And then continue to get better at that. And you are good at different things, at different stages in your life. Your purpose is to figure out, what you're good at, and to continue to grow and get better and seek out ways to, the challenge then becomes is, once you figure out what you're good at, and once you get really good at it, then how do you use that to empower or better the people around you? So when I think of purpose, I think of it more universal and altruistic in the sense that, I'm first of all going to figure out what I am good at, what is it that I provide? What is my value? We all have value. What is your value? And once you figure out your value, then how are you building that value? How are you investing in that value? And how are you then sharing that value with the people around you. To me, that is purpose.

Shawna Rodrigues 7:37

Mm hmm. So how does that work when the purpose can shift throughout your lifetime? And this is something that is a curiosity. And we've talked a little bit about on the show, like, for you, your shift away from being an educator. So how do you know when it's time that your purpose needs to be a different place and your talents and your gifts, and what you have to offer needs to go somewhere else? Like when do you know it's time? How did you know it was time to shift?

Billy Lahr 8:01

I wasn't in the right position as a dean of students. That just, that, that wasn't the right position for me. Because, you watch any movie, the Dean of Students is always the bad guy. They make movies about the Dean of Students being the villain. And that's what you are all the time. Like, I was always the bad guy. I was constantly delivering bad news to people. I would call parents and they would say, what did he do now? And it's like, what if I were to tell you that they actually did something really, I actually had that one time. I called a parent and he's like, Oh, no. And I'm like, no, no, no, this is good news. So, I'm just, I couldn't handle continuously delivering bad news. And it was wearing me out. So, I took a leave. Now, I had always told myself that I was going to take a leave when my dog shuffled across the Rainbow Bridge, right? So, I don't have kids, I've never been married. So, I don't have the same responsibilities that people have. So, I was able to take this leave, but this leave, could not have come at a better time because I was burned out. I was absolutely burnt out. And I think it really just comes down to, do you feel valued? If you don't feel valued, it becomes difficult to continuously be excited. And I know that you'll hear people oftentimes say, it shouldn't matter what other people's opinions are of you. And to a degree, they're right. But on the other hand, if your job requires the cooperation of other people, like, I was teaching at risk students, students who came to me with a bunch of social, emotional, behavioral academic challenges. It was really hard to connect with them because I didn't grow up with that. I loved school, I worked really hard in school, I was a nerd. When I was in college, the two places you could find me were either in the bar or in the library. Everybody knew that if I wasn't in the bar, then I was in the library. When you start to feel like, no one values you, that's when you start to burn out. And I was experiencing that for years and years and years. And I decided, all right, what is it that I want to do? Now, I almost fell into the trap of, I'm gonna go into corporate America and find a job in corporate America. That's the responsible thing to do. But that didn't appeal to me either because, what I wanted to do was this reflect, learn and grow program. And I wanted to work with people who wanted to work with me. It was also why I started this podcast because I wanted to create a platform that gave space to people who wanted to share their expertise, and their life experiences in order to help people navigate the complexities and possibilities of life's second half. That's what I wanted to do. I'm, I'm a promoter, and I get to talk to really wonderful people, and share their story and share their expertise on a platform that maybe they hadn't explored before. It has pushed me into doing this really crazy thing, and it feels energizing. And I feel that purpose every time I have a conversation with one of the guests. It just fills me up with so much pride in the conversation that we have. And when they get done, they say wonderful things like, that was a lot of fun. Thank you so much. Thank you for asking those challenging questions. I had never thought about those questions before. I got an email a couple of weeks ago from a former guest that said, I've actually been thinking about some of the questions that you asked, because I hadn't ever really reflected on them like that before. And I really appreciate that. I'm going to frame that email, because that's what fills me up knowing that, you know, gosh, we're having these powerful conversations. You know, that, that, to me is purpose. And that, to me is the awareness of when, if you don't feel that from time to time, and you're not going to feel it every day, if we're being realistic, but you should feel it more than once a week, you should feel it more than once a month, you should feel it multiple times in a week. And if you don't, then you have to ask yourself, is that the way I'm approaching this job? If it's, am I not feeling valued that I don't feel valued, then who can you have a conversation with about that? And make them recognize that, hey, lately, I've been feeling a little under appreciated. And if they're a good boss, or if they're a good colleague, they will say something like, you know what? I wasn't aware of that. What is it that you need from time to time? Because we all have basic needs. We talked about the love languages on, on one of our shows, episode 15, we all have these basic needs. So, let's make sure that we're tending to those because if we don't, we're going to experience burnout.

Shawna Rodrigues: 13:28

Yeah, so purpose is more than just being good at something. That it's good, and something that energizes you, and good at something that fills your cup. And maybe that filling your cup, you need to make sure you're surrounding yourself with people are checking in about that. And the love languages, we also had an episode around love languages. And I love that conversation. And I think it is interesting because I can go back at my last job and tell you, I have one colleague who, he was words of affirmation. And if he was going to feel appreciated and part of the team, we needed to do words of affirmation. And so, it's also knowing how you can help others help you feel appreciated by knowing what you need. Do you mind sharing what your love language is and how you feel appreciated?

Billy Lahr: 14:14

No, my love languages are quality time. That's 33%. And then 27% is physical touch and words of affirmation. So, we actually talk, we'll talk about and identify love languages in Reflect, Learn and Grow program because it all comes back to this idea of like, what fills your love bucket? How do we get to know us? We'll also talk about attachment styles. My attachment style is anxious attachments. And if people are listening and they're like, this guy sounds like he's got a lot of energy, it's because I have a lot of anxious energy. So it's just one of those kinds of things. Like, I always tell people that I practice mindfulness so I can be this level of obnoxious because if I didn't practice mindfulness, then I would be an outrageous level of obnoxiousness. So, the love languages, I thought that was all woowoo nonsense. And then

Shawna Rodrigues: 15:04

really?

Billy Lahr: 15:05

Yeah, and then I started doing a little more digging into it. And I read the book and I was like, wait a minute, this is making a lot of sense, especially when I started applying it to a relationship that didn't work out. I'm like, Oh, this is why I don't feel fulfilled in this relationship. It was very eye opening to me. I just want to spend quality time with somebody, I want to have experiences. I don't buy people gifts, gifts is 0%. 0%. They don't buy me a gift. If anybody ever sees me, give me a hug and save the gift for someone who appreciates it.

Shawna Rodrigues: 15:42

There you go. I was so curious about love languages at work. And I feel like, when I've been in jobs, I've been able to look around and see that and see when my dogs become dissatisfied, because quality time was a top level one for me. So when I have jobs that like require quick, quick, quick, do this. Run from this, run from this, run from this, that I start to lose something because I need to make the connections with the work and make connections to the people that I work with. And there's time involved with that. And so when you look at doctors who are getting burned out, because they don't have time because of their patients, but I wonder if there was a time where somebody who does not their language, right? Then maybe that doesn't bother them as much when you just got to turn to the patients because that's not the satisfaction they get out of their work. But yeah, such a curious topic. I love that topic of Love Languages. That's great you integrate that into Reflect. Learn. Grow. There's a lot that you guys are packing in.

Billy Lahr: 16:32

Yeah, you know, we really just want to do a deep dive on who you are, and, and build self awareness around your thoughts and behaviors and, and help that lead you to living a more purpose filled life.

Shawna Rodrigues: 16:48

That's great. And so you and I talked a little bit about empty statements that people can use and how those really bother you.

Billy Lahr: 16:55

Live life with no regrets. Regret is a natural human emotion. Are you saying that we shouldn't experience this natural human emotion.? Regret can actually be an amazing teacher, if you let it. If you don't wallow in regret, if you don't let regret consume you, you can look back, you can reflect, learn and grow from your regret, so that you can navigate future situations. And you can recognize, oh, hey, I'm starting to feel this feeling of regret again. I know what this feels like. What is causing this feeling? Why am I experiencing this right now? And then you can reflect on it. And you can say, now that I know that I'm feeling this way, and that I've made, you know, whatever decision that is causing me to feel this level of regret. I have felt it. And now I'm going to move forward on with it. To say live life with no regrets is to say live your life perfectly. No one's going to be able to live their life perfectly. You're going to make mistakes, you're going to experience regret. And that is just okay. So when people say, live life with no regrets, just stop listening to them.

Shawna Rodrigues: 18:11

Is there room to be able to say that when you experience regret that you just need to transition it to the lesson and not dwell on it? I think there's a level of like, gas or something happens and you aren't happy with the turnout. But instead of having the emotion be regret that instead you get the lesson and move forward from it.

Billy Lahr: 18:28

And that's what I mean by not wallowing in the regret and not letting the regret consume you. It's that, yes. Are there things that I regret? Absolutely. But I've learned to move on from them. Now when I was struggling with anxiety and depression and suicidal ideation, I could not let go of regret. In fact, that regret was keeping me down in those depths. Now, do I experience regret these days? That, of course I do. There are things that I regret, but I'm able to see them for what they are, and then see the future and move forward after applying those lessons. I'll give you a perfect example. When I was traveling, I spent three weeks in Puerto Vallarta. And in hindsight, I should have spent three more weeks there. I really was enjoying myself. I was making great connections with people there but I just ended up saying, you know what, I'm gonna go back to the United States because there was some unresolved business that I needed to attend to. But I regretted that. One, one reason I regret it is because I went back to Minnesota in March and it was ice cold. It was really nice in Puerto Vallarta. But when I went to Korea, I was only scheduled to be in Korea for six weeks. I created these amazing relationships with people through a meetup hiking group while I was in Seoul, and when I left Seoul and I went to Jeju Island and I went to Busan, I was supposed to leave after Busan. But I was telling my Airbnb hosts, he and I, one of the most wonderful, beautiful human beings I've ever met in my entire life, we would sit down and have these very philosophical conversations. And I told him, I feel like, if I leave Seoul now, that it will be closing the chapter on a book before it is finished being written. So, when I was in Jeju Island, I looked to see if I could change my flight, which I did. And then I emailed my Airbnb host and said, do you have any availability through the month of June? And he did. And all signs pointed, stay for a little bit longer. And so I extended that trip, and built up those relationships and develop those relationships even more to the point that I'm heading back to Korea and forging a life there. I don't know that I would have had the nerve to do that had I not reflected on the regret that I felt from leaving Puerto Vallarta earlier than I felt ready to.

Shawna Rodrigues: 21:20

Nice. So it's important if you have regrets, to then go ahead and learn from it and make better decisions based on it. But it would have been okay, if you had no regrets and didn't leave for the rare to the first time as well.

Billy Lahr: 21:33

Well, it would have been very nice. I could have eaten tacos and laid by the beach all day, it would have been absolutely fantastic.

Shawna Rodrigues: 21:40

No problem with that option. That would have been a good way to fight things. So Korea, you say, you're relocating there? You're staying there for an extended time?

Billy Lahr: 21:48

I am going there indefinitely. So, I'm gonna go there and kind of figure out the visa situation. And, my plan is to stay there and carve out some sort of life there and see how things go. Because, you know, I've lived in Minnesota my whole life. I turned 45 a month ago. It's time to experience something else. And we could go back to regret, like, you know, do I regret living in Minnesota my whole life? It would have been nice to have some other experiences. If, if I, if you were to ask me that question 10 years ago, when I was not in a good frame of mind? Yes, I would have been, you know, beating myself up about it. But I understand now that I wasn't ready. And now I'm ready to move on and have this new experience. So, I don't look back on it with, with too much regret. Because this opportunity is here now.

Shawna Rodrigues: 22:49

Yeah, it sounds like you've worked through that regret and found a way to actually just make it happen now and use that to, to propel you forward to even better places. That's incredible. And it sounds like one of the things that you are really excited about to is having things like routines in your life to really maximize your output and your efficiency. Can you talk more about that?

Billy Lahr: 23:07

Yeah, I'm a firm believer in the first 90 minutes of your day will set the tone for your day and you need to block out those first 90 minutes from the moment you wake up, what does that look like? So, I try to do the same thing. I try to wake up around the same time each and every single day, and just do the same things in those first 90 minutes. Because then I don't have to think so much in the first 90 minutes of the day. Like, I know what the first 90 minutes of my day are going to look like. So then that takes out some of that decision fatigue. And just being in that routine, again, has helped me out significantly.

Shawna Rodrigues: 23:50

Nice.

Billy Lahr: 23:51

And I can feel that I'm a little bit out of it. Because last week, I was closing on my condo and I was moving everything out of my condo, and having all sorts of different emotional experiences as I'm boxing everything up and taking everything out. So, I wasn't in my routine last week, when I know what that routine is going to be. I function and I'm so much more productive when I know what those first 90 minutes are going to look like. And even the last 90 minutes of your day too. Your last 90 minutes can look the same. If you can make them as structured and as predictable as possible, with some flexibility in there. If you do that, you're going to find that your level of productivity significantly increases. And I also have something I don't like to do lists because I think to do lists make you, that's just busy work. I like using what I call a CHIPS list. So, I created this. I feel very proud. CHIPS list is complete. What is it that you need to complete today? You can do a daily CHIPS list or you can do a weekly CHIPS list. Whatever one makes you feel more productive. But I like to do a daily CHIPS list. And when I go into my office and say, these are the things that have to get done today. You cannot not complete these things. These have to get done today. And when those things are done, then you go to the H, which is hurray. So you should celebrate when you have completed the first, the first couple of things. And then I-P-S stands for in progress or start. So if you have more time, and you're feeling more productive, and you have the energy, you can continue moving things along in your in progress or start box right there. Those are things that do not necessarily need to get done today. There are things that you can kind of kick the can down the road, so to speak. But you should just know that at some point in time, you're going to need to address those. So, can you, can you progress on them? Go ahead and work on them. Is there something that you need to start? Maybe it's something easy that you could start just or something that you've been procrastinating on and you're like, if I just started for 10 minutes today, then tomorrow, it'll be the in the in progress box, and I'll feel a bit more productive. Then again, maybe after you're done with your complete list, maybe you're done. Maybe you've done and you just go and celebrate with a delicious slice of carrot cake.

Shawna Rodrigues: 26:37

That's awesome, Billy. You haven't listened to my podcast but we actually have a whole podcast episode on to do lists, which is funny. I love that we have all of this cross stuff. And like, the little clip that's out on my social media is let the rest go and celebrate. And I say only three things a day that you have, and then you have the things not to lose list. So yours is better because you have letters for yours. But you and I are speaking the same thing. So everyone listening, you could listen to Billy, I totally agree with him. That's exactly what I think we should be doing. So if it works better to do CHIPS, do that. If not, you can just listen to that other episode about, yes, let the rest go and celebrate. And things not to lose list instead of a to do list because there's only three things a day and stop making yourself crazy with the pages and pages of things to do. So, we are on the same wavelength.

Billy Lahr: 27:25

And I think too, like, you know, I like this idea of three things, because then it eliminates procrastination to an extent because then what you're saying is it's like, well, if I have three things right here, then I need to get those three things done, because if I don't, then I'm going to have four things tomorrow. And if I don't, then I'm going to have five things the next day. So, I like that. A lot of times, the things that I'm trying to tackle are maybe half hour jobs, right?

Shawna Rodrigues: 27:57

Yes.

Billy Lahr: 27:57

So, so, I'm just tackling those things. So I do have far more than three things on the complete list. But I think it's because I break them down very specifically, like, they're itemized. I'm a spreadsheet person, I love me a good spreadsheet and spreadsheets itemize things so beautifully. And you could color coat them. It's absolutely wonderful. So yeah, I like, I like being able to itemize things and break them down step by step because then I can really feel a sense of accomplishment.

Shawna Rodrigues: 28:30

That works. I like that you had the celebration there, which makes me very happy. So you get points, you'd be the only person I know that has celebration as part of their process. So, yay, for that. I like it. So as we start to wind things down, what else do you do for self care? It sounds like your routines are part of what you do for self care. What else do you do for self care for probably our self care spotlight?

Billy Lahr: 28:51

Yeah, you know, I do need to get back into my mindfulness practice here. And like I said, I'm out of my routine right now. I'm trying to get back into my routines here. I'm 45. So, I'm still fairly athletic, and I feel fairly fit. But I'm not the most limber. So, I do a 15 minute mobility flow that I created. And then I also have a 22 minute stretching routine that I do in the evening. Otherwise, I feel like the tin man and I need that, that's my oil can right there is doing the mobility and the stretching routines. And I'm a certified personal trainer. And if I'm not fit, if I'm not going to the gym, then really, what's the proof of purchase right there, right? Like, I just feel like it's important for me, just my own body, just my own mental health, just my own physical health, that I get in and lift heavy stuff from time to time. So, those are things that I do. I also make sure that I surround myself with positive people. One thing, so, you know, I'm 45, I'm single, I used to spend so much time on dating apps. And even when I first started traveling in Portugal and in Mexico, I used dating apps quite a bit, but I was using a more as like, Hey, I'm traveling solo. I'd like to find somebody and hang out.

Shawna Rodrigues: 30:23

Yeah,

Billy Lahr: 30:24

that's a plus two, right?

Shawna Rodrigues: 30:25

Yeah.

Billy Lahr: 30:26

So what happened, though, is that, I would be continually disappointed. And I'm sure from time to time, the people I met were also disappointed.

Shawna Rodrigues: 30:39

Nothing's perfect. Yeah.

Billy Lahr: 30:40

So I understand that the disappointment was probably mutual. But I felt like I was putting too much stock into trying to meet somebody on dating apps. And when I met this hiking group through meetup, that completely changed everything. And I'm such a huge proponent of meetup, because you meet people in person, you oftentimes can meet a group, and you're finding people who share a common interest, right? You're finding people. And the hard part a lot of times is finding a friend who will go with you to something that you're really interested in. Because people are busy, right?

Shawna Rodrigues: 31:06

Yeah,

Billy Lahr: 31:27

but with meetup groups, particularly with this meetup group, it was a hiking group, and you can just take a subway into the mountains in Seoul. It's incredible.

Shawna Rodrigues: 31:38

That's amazing.

Billy Lahr: 31:38

You just meet people at the subway stop, and there's 20, 30, built in new friends for you right there. And you start talking to people and you click with this person, you don't click with this person. So, you go and talk to the first person you met. It's, I cannot recommend something like meet up enough, especially if you are a middle aged, single dude. Or if you're just a guy who, you know, your social life revolves around your wife, who doesn't want you around all the time, either. She's got friends, she's made friends, she wants you to go and have your own friends. If you're feeling isolated, if you're feeling recluse, and I really want to stress this too, for middle aged men out there, because middle aged men have some of the highest rates of suicide. And it's something that people do not address. It's something that people do not talk about, I think, listen, I think middle aged men get a bad rap from time to time. Now, some of it is because of some of the things that we've done in the past, right? But middle aged,

Shawna Rodrigues: 32:48

yeah, that is social isolation, the inability to feel connected is really important.

Billy Lahr: 32:52

It is and I really feel that that is a contributing factor to the high suicide rates, particularly in middle aged men. And in 75+ men, 75 year old and older men have extremely high rates of suicide. And I feel my theory on that, is that social isolation. So it's really important to take care of ourselves through socialization. Women are really good at socializing. And I mean, that's maybe just a generic statement right there.

Shawna Rodrigues: 33:27

But we're socialized to socialize, as we get to, you know what I mean?

Billy Lahr: 33:30

Yeah.

Shawna Rodrigues: 33:31

Were raised to do that.

Billy Lahr: 33:32

Yeah. And in men, you know, men are not allowed to talk about their feelings. And I saw somebody just the other day that this drove me crazy. And the first episode that we're doing in season 6 is about this. I saw somebody post something on there that said, no more men talking mental health on podcast, and it's like,

Shawna Rodrigues: 33:51

Oh,

Billy Lahr: 33:51

why are you perpetuating the stigma?

Shawna Rodrigues: 33:54

Yeah,

Billy Lahr: 33:55

and shaming men for talking about their mental health. We need more men to talk about mental health. It's one of the reasons why we created our podcast was so that we could talk about mental health and get other people on to share their expertise and their experiences around emotional intelligence, around mindfulness, around mental health, around physical health, so that people knew that they weren't alone, and that we can create this sense of empathy. And the more that we, we socialize and the more that we hear other people's stories, the more empathetic and more aware we become. So it's really important that we get out and we socialize, especially coming out of this pandemic. So, download the meetup app, find yourself some people to hang out with especially if you are in this recluse, isolated state. Bring yourself out of that because you will find a renewed sense of fun and enjoyment.

Shawna Rodrigues: 35:01

All right, I love this. I love this for your, with your thing to do for self care. And also, we have our little moments of something just actually, we'll take from this, this time together that people join us for. And I would love for everyone to take that. And it might be for you that you need to make connection. So you need to download the meetup app, you need to find a way to find a group for you to connect with in your community in person and push yourself to go do that. And for some of you, you need to pick up your phone and call that friend you already have that's in your community and push them to make a time to actually get together or push them to have a phone conversation or take a walk or go to dinner or go to lunch or to see each other because you haven't. Because the pandemic has conditioned us to not connect and spend time in person with people. And so, really to find a way to connect. If it's zooming with your friend across the country, your friend who just moved to Korea, if that happened, like, that will be our push for today. That everyone needs to connect. Find a way to connect. Meet up, download, get on the phone, get on Zoom, go to lunch, go for a walk. Everyone listening that's your, that's your challenge for right now to make that happen. I like it. That's awesome.

Billy Lahr: 36:11

But and do it before it's too late too because, I'm going to Korea and all of a sudden I've got these people coming out of the woodwork, and they're like, wait, you're moving to Korea? Well, let's hang out. And it's like, well, why? How can we do want to hang out?

Shawna Rodrigues: 36:12

No time now. No time now.

Billy Lahr: 36:27

And of course I'm like no, you know what, let's make some time. And I appreciate the fact that they have reached out. Let's continue to stay connected and let's continue to network and, and in you, because you just never know when, when someone will be unavailable or someone's going to move or something else has happened. So

Shawna Rodrigues: 36:44

yeah,

Billy Lahr: 36:45

go ahead and reach out to people and make those connections.

Shawna Rodrigues: 36:47

Make it happen. And this is perfect timing for how can we stay connected to you, Billy?

Billy Lahr: 36:53

Oh, if you want to stay connected to me, you should contact me, you can DM me on Instagram. That's where I pretty much hang out most of my time. @Mindful_Midlife_Crisis. You can go to the website, www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com. You can click on contact and you can sign up for the newsletter. We send weekly meditations through that. We send information about the Reflect. Learn. Grow. program. We send just fun little nuggets about what's going on with our guests. If you want to check out what they have going on, all sorts of things in the newsletter, you can send me an email via the contact page, as well.

Shawna Rodrigues: 37:32

Awesome, wonderful, thank you so much for being here today. We definitely enjoy getting to know you a little bit better in, you know, different angles. And I'm excited for your adventure in Korea and excited for your, your podcast and Reflect. Learn. Grow and all the things that are going to come out of that. So thank you for being here.

Billy Lahr: 37:48

Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it.

Shawna Rodrigues: 37:50

And thanks to all of you for showing up and being here with us today. I hope you take to heart the steps around connecting that Billy shared. I will also remind you that we offer free samples of our coloring pages on our website. So head on over to thegritshow.com to grab your copy and integrate them into your self care routine. As the days get shorter, and the weather gets a bit more gray and rainy, you may even consider getting yourself a copy of the full coloring book. Our next edition, which is all about the quotes, will come up before the end of November and be ready for the holidays. The link is in the show notes or just Google, the Color of Grit. And in case no one has mentioned it lately, you are the only one of you that this world has got and that really does mean something. I look forward to connecting with you again next week.