TT Gratitude, Regret, & Letting Go -22

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Shawna Rodrigues 0:00

Gratitude and regret. Two very different emotions. Different enough that you might even say, they are the opposite of each other. What do you think? Has regret ever made it harder for you to experience gratitude? Harder to experience joy? Do you think gratitude can move you further from regret? Do you think gratitude might be the antidote for regret?

Shawna Rodrigues 0:26

Welcome to The Grit Show. Growth on purpose. I'm grateful you found us. We are a community of scrappers, who have had the opportunity to demonstrate our grit, and now, we're growing together as seekers and thrivers. Learning a little each week that brings more joy and ease into our life. I'm your host, Shawna Rodrigues. And you are joining us for a unique episode. When the podcast first began, we had two episodes a week. One on Tuesday that was more conversational in its format, and had guests that were thought leaders, and then another on Thursday, these ones were shorter, and I had you all to myself. I called those, Thursday thoughts. They were only 10 to 15 minutes, and I got to talk to you one on one. Topics varied a lot. They vary from the power of being thankful, which we dived into on episode 10 to the Thursday thought episode on bucket lists, which was number 4, and another on to-do lists, episode 8, and cherry blossoms and the conversation around the genetic traces of trauma, that one was episode 6. Although it tie for 7, and the ratings of our 20 episodes so far on The Grit Show, it is consistently the top episode to come up in real world conversation.

Shawna Rodrigues 1:42

This week we're doing something different and we're merging our 40 minutes, the one on one aspect of the just for you and I, Thursday thoughts and the longer format for our Tuesday slots. Since its November and a part of the exciting graduate outloud campaign, you're going to revisit gratitude a little bit. Little by little since we already have episode 10, where we talked about the power of being thankful. We're also going to spend a little time chatting about resentment and letting go, which I think plays well into it all also. Even last week's episode on breakthroughs and breath work with Benedict, there was hints of that that came up. You might have noticed, for some of you, we've been chatting pretty regularly for a while now. Others of you, this might be your first introduction to me. Either way, we are going to add to the bits and pieces you might have heard on various episodes, and we are going to do a bio like we normally do to introduce our guests on the show. So here you are. This is a bio of Shawna Rodrigues.

Shawna Rodrigues 2:47

Shawna Rodrigues 4:37

I'm an avid traveler, and I've visited all of the US states. And I've lived in countless communities on both coasts and in the south, covering a total of seven states. Again, greatly from the people and experiences I've had in each of these places. And I currently live in Oregon with the love of my life, who is also quite a story. And this is the same state where I was born. I value deep conversations, have immense gratitude for the incredible people in my life, and get inspiration for the new people I meet and the perspectives that they offer. One of the many reasons I love podcasting. And I truly hope that you take this as an invitation to hop onto Instagram or Facebook and drop me a DM. Tell me a little bit about yourself and introduce you to me, since this is our time for a one on one conversation, and I would love to hear back from you.

Shawna Rodrigues 5:27

So, as we launch into this episode, it is November. So do you know what that means? It means a few things. It means, that you may search notice more beards and mustaches, as it is No Shave November, aka Movember, which I was confused by at first. But, I researched and I learned more in preparation for this episode. And I was actually slightly embarrassed that I didn't already know that it is about raising funds for men's health at Men's Health Research. Did you know that? It's much more than just facial hair, like, I knew it was No Shave November. And the Movember thing confused me a bit, but there's more to it. So, there's actually an option that they have about moving 60 miles over the month. And the purpose behind that, is to do this for the 60 men we lose every hour to suicide, which goes back to our episode, when we had Billy Lahr on and he was talking about some of the importance around that. So there's a whole way to support that, you will have that in the show notes. So it is more than just facial hair. It's about men's health. So I was thrilled to actually learn about that. It is also NaNoWriMo which is often shortened to Nano, which I will elongate because, thorugh that, it will probably confused some of you. It is National Novel Writing Month. NaNo, National Novel, WriMo, Writing Month. So, now you know what that word means if you hear it in passing and in conversation, and it is quite out really exciting movement. It is actually what got me started writing what later became my debut novel. I started it probably 10 years before I finished it. I wrote the first couple chapters, which again, I did not accomplish NaNoWriMo and write a novel, during National Novel Writing Month. But, one November when there is space in my world, which, you know, it's hard to find a November with space near well, sometimes, I found in November with space, and I met with a friend and he and I would write and that is how I started my novel, that I would later finish over the course of almost probably 10 months that I've worked on that novel, and I actually finished it. But I started it during National Novel Writing Month. And it is a great opportunity. So that's also something that happens in November. So November, it's a very big, exciting month. But I will also put a link to that. So if you've ever thought about writing a novel, which, who knows maybe my intro helped inspire you. I was at, I've been in a number of writing conferences. Right now, I'm in Las Vegas at a writing conference, actually. And I've been surprised and impressed at how many wonderful writers I've met that I have learned have participated in NaNoWriMo at some point in their career. And so, it's very inspiring and gritty part of even if you don't actually finish your novel, like I didn't, but it was part of what got me to start my novel in the first place, though. It is a very exciting movement, if you're interested in writing, more to the wise, and I'll put it in the show notes that, if that tickles your ears somehow. It is also the month for Thanksgiving in the US. Our neighbors in Canada have that much earlier in October, which I will muse about later, in December. But when I was first making my notes for this episode, I was just musing about it. And then I actually, in the interim had an interview with a guest from Canada. So we talked about a little bit about their timing aligns more with the harvest, and kind of makes more sense to me. So, I've always been confused, though about, about our timing, as it is connected to harvest, but I think actually, it has to do with the fact there wasn't as much food as kind of the historical piece in the US with our Thanksgiving holiday. But, it makes more sense to me to have it in October like they do in Canada. So we don't cram it all together. So we're like sliding straight from, from Thanksgiving into Christmas and Hanukkah and other holidays kind of fall like, all right in there. I was, it was funny that you'd have Thanksgiving break at college and then you barely go back and do your little bit of classes and your final exams, and then you'd be off for the winter break. It was just kind of nuts how they kind of crammed it in next to their final weeks of the year. But, I think I'd be confused if they moved it to anywhere else. So, the US holiday for Thanksgiving because we do actually have listeners on every continent and unexpected perk of having a podcast that is actually in the top up to 10% of all podcasts, right?

We do believe the fewest downloads from Africa, by far. So, if you know of a great guest in Africa that I should have on the show, totally send me a note about it so that maybe we can get some more downloads from Africa. It'd be fun to get that number up. If you raise, as I always say, for people that listen in different continents and may not be familiar with how we do things in the US, our Thanksgiving is very different in meaning for different people. So, if you look at the historical Thanksgiving, but it, to some people, it really is just a day of watching football. That really is it. And I spoke to a friend of mine that I saw just the other day and for her, she hates the cooking. And it really is. They just have lunch with her and her kids. And they keep it as simple as possible. Because for her, the food was a stressor. And so they took the food out of it. For other people, it's a wonderful opportunity to spend time with family and to get to see family. And it's the time of year that all the family come together. And they love it because it doesn't have the gifts and pressure of other holidays, even though it is all about the food. For other people, the don't like the family aspect of it, then they're super stressed out because it is the holiday where they do become entrenched in getting to see all of their relatives and all of their family. And mean, there's plenty of skits and movies and comedy around Thanksgiving and bringing the family together. So, there's that. For other people, it is the one holiday that revolves around pumpkin pie, and they love pumpkin pie. And that is like the most exciting day of the entire year because that is the one day you get pumpkin pie. It changes. So, you know, it can make little sense for us about why it is. It also has a very complicated association because of the historic oppression of indigenous people in our country also has ties to this holiday. So there's also those that don't celebrate at all, which I definitely honor that as well and respect that. So whether you love it for football, pumpkin pie, the not me. Well, those for those who're going to celebrate it. For me, because we all have our own associations, I have gratitude at the forefront for Thanksgiving. I mean, thanks isn't a title.

When I was a kid, I had a large family. And I think I talked about this in another episode we have as well. But there was six of us in our family. So for kids and my parents, and so we didn't get invited over for dinner at people's houses. There was a lot of us, most people we knew might have two kids, but they definitely didn't invite all of our family with for dinner. And so, that didn't often happen. And we didn't live near extended family. And so Thanksgiving every year, the same family would invite us over for Thanksgiving. And every year we were surprised and pressed and blessed and thrilled that we got invited to their house for Thanksgiving. And so there was just something about the holiday for me that represented like that they were giving, you know, to us, to open their home to us and invite them into their home. And we were incredibly thankful or I was incredibly thankful that we got to go spend this day with them and play games in their game room at their house and get to have this big dinner with them and their family. And I had my own kind of pie that I liked. And they always had it there because it was never made at my house. So it was always about that. And so for me that's what Thanksgiving always was. And as I got older and I went to college in Louisiana and Louisiana was very far from home, and I went home. The first year my mother had a really hard time I was gone. So I went home for Thanksgiving that first year. But the other years I was too far away to come home for Thanksgiving, was the people open their homes to me to have Thanksgiving with them. I've always had like this immense gratitude and this welcoming thing that comes with thanksgiving for me. So that might be why the course and project chose for the launch of Author Express, which is a podcast and co-hosting this intent on discovering the voices behind the pages of your favorite books, and is launching on the final day of November, the 30th was all about gratitude, this course and projects and you can find it on Instagram as authors expressing gratitude. Get it, Author Express, authors, anyway, so it's part of gratitude out loud for the next few weeks. It's all about gratitude because for me, November, Thanksgiving is all about gratitude. And in episode 10, I talk about the power of being thankful and how important that can be in changing your perspective and changing your life in many positive ways. The benefits of it and the science behind that and how I really implemented it into practice. It really impacted my life. And I really started thinking about it again after episode with, with Billy because on our episode with Billy, he talks about regret, not listening to anybody who says live life in the regrets. Which I might be somebody who I don't think I say that out loud. I don't know. If you're listening to this, and you're actually friends with me, let me know if I've ever said that to you, because I don't know if I would say it. But I wouldn't think of not saying it. I feel like, I am definitely a seasoned moment kind of girl, you get that from my, one of the top episodes on the podcast about, you know, seizing the moment and not having a bucket list. Like, to me, living without a bucket list isn't as simple as you know, saying, like, live with no regrets, but it's very similar. As far as you look at the transcript, maybe I do say that in an episode. But what do you, would say like, don't listen, anybody says that. I was like, wait a minute, like, I don't think I live with regret. I don't do regret. I'm not somebody who does regrets. And it might be that it may be some level of fault that I equate regret and resentment. And maybe I put those two close together, and they're two different emotions. And so that could just be the way that I'm looking at things. But for me, like that ability to have gratitude for things and to look at what to be grateful for, again, staying away from the bright side, like I'm somebody who's not a fan of just look at the bright side, always the bright side, I was definitely raised very Pollyanna and watched Pollyanna and loved Pollyanna. But there is a thing about this toxic positivity, right? Of always having to see the bright side. Always having to look so much at the positive that you ignore the negative to like, to a fault. And that's something that never sat well with me. And so that's why I think gratitude resonates so beautifully with me is because it's like the antidote, it's the, it's not covering it up, it's actually curing, it's actually resolving, it's actually finding a different frame for things instead of like, brushing over them and just covering them with tar so they don't exist, right? It's actually resolving them, and chemically changing it into something else, which sits so much better, and resonates so deeply with me when you do that instead. And so that's why I love gratitude so much, because it is finding a way to really see the things that you're grateful for and the things that really resonate.

So we have an episode coming up in December, where we talk about grief. And there was somebody else I'd seen something on Instagram talking about toxic positivity, and how people will say, you know, well, at least they're no longer suffering, which is, again, is somebody trying to brush it over or ignore it, or work around it or put terror to top of it. And this isn't anything that the person who was the guest talked about with grace. I don't believe that something specific, she said at all with it. But it's this concept that instead if we look to gratitude, right, instead of trying to say this, well, at least, right? Which I feel is toxic positivity to well, at least stuff. If we look to gratitude instead, to be able to say to them, I am so thankful that I got to spend time with this person, that I got to have this person in my life, if this person we've lost was part of our lives and I gained from them, if we look at that gratitude for that person that we aren't brushing up and painting over and like, well, at least stuff it's not trying to ignore what's really happening. It is actually shifting towards something beautiful and good. And something we're genuinely grateful for and looking at a different angle instead of just covering things up. And that's how I love gratitude so much.

So when it comes to that resentment plays, you know, what I mean? It's spending time being resentful about something that instead of being, see, I change it to resentful, just automatically. I think that's why it's that regret and resentment are really close for me. So, that is on me. So, live life without resentment, I think it's something I can say. And regret is something I maybe need to like, look at a little more closely. But instead of looking at things as regret to look at what you were thankful for about the experience and what you're thankful for about it. So, let's do a story connecting gratitude, and regret. So, there is a relationship I had that on the face like, I should have let go of sooner. And I think that we're going to talk a little bit more about letting go in this conversation on this episode, because that's been kind of placed on my heart and in my mind is something I've been wrestling with and looking at a little bit more and what I need to let go of, to make room for things and when I look at the relationship that I held on to for too long, and that can be a fact and yet, I don't regret holding on to that relationship for too long. It's in fact, that I held on to for too long, but I don't regret holding on to it for too long. I don't regret that relationship. That relationship is part of why I moved back to Oregon when I did and when my mom was diagnosed with her first cancer, her breast cancer, I lived in Oregon when that happened, because I've moved back with this relationship that, you know, I stayed in longer than I should have and wasn't the healthiest relationship I was in that was part of my process and part of my growth, and I'm thankful for the growth. And I'm thankful for who I am today. And that's part of me becoming who I am today. And so I don't look at that with regret, I look at the gratitude for the things that I'm grateful that I got out of that instead of having a frame of regret, I have a frame of gratitude that I put on things. And I'm very grateful for what I gained because of it. And when I look at where I'm at right now in life, like right now I have, one of the things that I probably would talk about the most or one of the things is highest on my list of things that I'm like, looking forward to manifest, the next house that my partner and I are going to be living in. And we've actually named it. We're calling it our Arcadia house, which makes it easier for us to manifest it. And we actually don't know where it's gonna be, don't know what it's gonna be. But we're starting to imagine and prepare and think of the space we want to be in. Because the house we're in now is 700 square feet, and it's too small. That's not big enough. I need room to have friends over for dinner, I need room to have my art space, I need a closet where I don't have to change out my wardrobe for the seasons, because I barely get one season put up just in time for me to, to get it back out again. And I travel in a, to different climate, I need to have it all in one place like, there are things that I need and my space right now doesn't accommodate for that. And it will be really easy for this to be an area for regret, because I purchased my home a handful of years ago, and I was in the process of purchasing it when I actually caught a glimpse of my now fiance after not seeing him for 20 years. And within a month and a half of purchasing it, he and I were together. And within five months of purchasing it, he moved in and it was not big enough. It's arguable it wasn't big enough for just me. And I had sold a home that was more than four times its size when I purchased this house. So it would seem this would be an easy place to invite in regret. When I'm in my spaces to cram, there's not enough room in my office to fully unpack, there's furniture whistling to get rid of because I haven't transitioned fully. We moved to a larger place during the pandemic and had tenants that weren't able to pay rent. And so we were paying for our mortgage and our, our rent at the other place and had to move multiple times. So there's lots of room in this whole story for regret. And that's kind of the point of why I bring it up. I'm really excited for my next home. But I honestly believe and this is where the letting go comes in, that the house that I had, I had a house that I loved. That is one of the examples on one of my episodes of the beautiful things I was able to manifest in my life. Possibly one of my bucket list things that I bought my dream house. It was everything could have imagined. I loved that house. It was a place that my entire family like I said I have a bigger family, could come for the holiday and I had a room for everyone to be there. I could cook for everyone. I had a big beautiful yard. We built a waterfall in my backyard. When I was going through a stressful, stressful time, we had this gorgeous waterfall that my dad came and built it for me. And I got to go and enjoy it. When I was going through extremely stressful time in my life and I got to plant there. I had trees. It was just beautiful. My home, it was in Yakima, Washington, and my home is like forever will be this beautiful happy place for me and I'm so grateful I had that house and the magical way it came into being for me when I found it, when I bought it, all of the rest that it was for me. That space I had there, my office, everything. It was just magical. And I met incredible people when I was there, it was beautiful. And I held on to it even at a time when I had, my partner at the time wanting me just to sell it and let it go because they were scared for our future and I didn't and holding on to it brought more good things to me and it was, it was wonderful. It was all very positive. And then, and I was out actually living in Portland, Oregon, and working in a different town an hour from there and still holding on to my house and renting out rooms. And it was still this wonderful, beautiful rest spot for me. And then a big family situation happened. And I was maintaining this home that was in this one location, I was living a different location, I was hours away supporting family in a different location, and it was all too much. And so that was when I decided I needed to sell that home and buy a home where I lived, which necessitated a much smaller home, up to the home I am currently, in all of these chefs. And it was, it was hard. Letting go of that house was really hard. Like, even now like, you can probably hear my voice on the verge of tears. Because it was really hard to let go of that house. But it was so important for me to let go of that house, to make room in my life for other things. And the cosmic coincidence of me letting go of that house, and the love of my life walking into my life, like it was like, so, like, think of probably look at the closing date. And the date that I saw him again. And they were literally like, right next to each other. It was incredible, like how that timing worked. And there was a sense that I had that I needed to let go of that house in order to go to that next phase of my own life, as well as be more present for a lot of the complicated things happening in my family. And, I am so thankful that I did let go of that house. And so thankful that I made that transition, and found the love of my life because he is worth 10 of those houses. Like, he is the most amazing thing, he is home to me no matter where we are. And he is so much more important than a physical building. And that's why I'm also excited for us to find our Arcadia home, our home together, that's going to be even more incredible because it's ours, and it's ours shared.

And so the importance of not having regret with that though. Like if you listened to me, like when I was stressed out about my tenants and paying my mortgage and paying the rent, if you listen to me when I was selling that house, and it was so hard, if you listen to me, when I'm stressed out about not having space in my office, about not having space in my home, about like, I feel like you would expect there to be some level of regret and all of that. And there isn't. Like I am so resolute with all of the decisions and changes and shifts that I've made. And I feel like gratitude makes it all possible. And the knowledge that letting go is so important to be able to open myself up to invite other things into my life. And it is so hard to let go. And I feel like regret makes it even harder. And I feel like there is more between those three things of regret and gratitude and letting go that if you hold on to regret, you can't let go of things. And that gratitude makes it more possible to release the regret. So you can let go of the things that aren't serving you. So you can invite better things into your life. And I promise you that there are times in my life where some of the letting go, and some of the lack of regret, is simply a practice of because it was too hard to hold anything that was similar to the regret or that felt like the regrets.

When there is a big family situation that happened in 2017, December 2017. So we're coming up on the, the five year anniversary of that, that is actually going to be a book that I will one day write, called Daughter of the Accused. And it was a very tragic situation with my family. And I dropped everything to be present for my family. And it was, it was a big decision. But it was very important to me that I did it without regret and with a clear heart, if you've heard that term with a very clear heart, that I did it knowing that's where my priority needed to be. And that's where I wanted my priority to be. And that I was grateful I could do that. And that I found the gratitude in doing that. I think that when my mother was sick, when I was in that challenging relationship that was not healthy, and I was in a very stressful job, I had a lot, I didn't have the gift of gratitude at that time. And it was a lot harder to do things, everything feeling very heavy and like I was moving through mud to do all of those things. And this second situation I went there, my family was even more stressful and more of a burden at times, if that makes sense. And yet, I did it without regret. And I did it with gratitude, and was present of, of knowing that I was grateful for that time. And knowing that I looked back on the time I had my mother before she passed, and grateful for those days that I was with her and those trips that I took and the time that I made her priority. And that I did not regret those decisions. And the importance of me framing and being grateful for those times and how important that was to me, that it made it possible for me to do that later, as well with this other round with my family when I was needed for my family. And that I made the choice to do those things without regret.

And how important that was to be able to let go of all the other things that I couldn't prioritize, and all the other things that I couldn't give myself fully to, because I couldn't. And part of that was a decision of letting go of my dream house. And I literally, I was 12 years old. And a big debt, the place I wanted to build a house when I got older, like having a house has always been a dream for me. And hugely important to me, it was crazy how long I waited to be able to buy my house. And then the first house I bought was my dream house. And it really was. And that was a huge bust. And I'm so grateful for that. But then giving that up was huge. To give that up and let that go. But it was so important. And it's interesting, because I've been feeling very stretched thin. And I just went and traveled to the East Coast and spent time with some very important, valuable people that I cared deeply for and was so good to see them. And went to two different writing events and I'm at a writing event right now. And my heart and my calling is in podcasting. And it has been very challenging trying to balance all of the things right now, trying to balance the love of my life and a wedding that's happening in the late spring. And all these people I haven't seen for 33 months because of the pandemic, and spending time with them. And the writing and focusing on writing and wanting to focus on podcasting and building my network and all of these things and feeling so pulled and really realizing that I just need to let go. I just need to let go. And I need to let go without regret. And I need to be grateful for the opportunities I have and follow my gratitude. And use that in a way that can help me find where I need to focus. Just like I chose to let go of my house to make space for things that are more important and beautiful things that I'm so grateful that came into my life, that I needed to clear out some things and let go of some things. And so as I've been doing that, and thinking through all of that, I want to share with all of you and give you that opportunity, especially as we get towards the end of the year, that you start looking at the things in your life, what you're grateful for, what you want to put more intention in time for and then think about those things that are bordered on regrets. And no judgement because I understand that I have this close association between regret and resentment and that I have strong associations with regret. So I don't want to put those on you. You need to be where you are with things. But I will say that when I was with a friend back east, and they told me that they regret something every day that just felt so heavy to me. And I just felt like something that I couldn't be in that space. I couldn't have something that was pulling me and having me feel stuck.

And so being stuck is not something I want for you. If regret is an emotion that's helping to propel you towards things and helping you make good decisions, then I bless you and hope you can explore that emotion in a way that is bringing good things into your life. If that can help you let go of things, then I invite you to look at that. I need to work more on letting go. That is a theme for me. Letting go is not easy for me. In fact, I do distinctly remember realizing that letting go isn't really a verb. Letting go is not an action. It's not some big movement you take, some big thing you do. Letting go was not doing. That concept was hard for me. It was hard for me to recognize that letting go was just that it was no longer holding on, it was no longer being attached, it was the opposite of doing. It was not doing, it was letting go. Just some things to think about. And just a time for you to look at as we think of our grit wit, as we think about what you can apply as you move into your life and move through your week and walk away from this episode. To look at what in your life might be something you need to let go of. It may not be as big as a house, may not be as big as a part of your career. But even looking at our conversation with Benedict, part of his letting go, part of his whole trip, he let go of his career in IT, to move into a helping profession of being a teacher, and serving others in that regard. And then it was time he got burned out, which we have an episode in December about burnout. So, you may need to listen to that if that resonates with you also. But then he went on this big truck and this big trip. And he also found the love of his life on that trip, right? That was also part of his letting go of those other things and making room in his life for that person and for that life. And he found all those things. So he needs let go of a lot for that to happen. He let go of his entire life and found he had a whole other life waiting for him on the other side of it. And I think that for me, with the podcasting, with my career, I had a beautiful career, as we noted in the beginning, beautiful career in social work as a mental health consultant, serving children and families, doing organizational stuff at the state and national level, with amazing thing with young kids and families, I did incredible things that I'm proud of, I really enjoyed, they meant a lot to me. And it was time to let go of that. Some things, I had to send messages to them nudging to finally let go of those things. And to move on to that. And I really thought that writing was supposed to be my primary focus. And I need to let go of the writing a little bit because podcasting, this is where I'm supposed to be. My network. And that this is my calling. And this is where I need to be. And that's still part of it. The writing is still part of it, I still have books to write, I still have pieces to do. But right now, I need to let go of that piece a little bit. So I can focus more on the podcasting and more about where I need to be. And you have to let go of things to make room for these other big things that are coming into your life.

So what are some of the things that you might need to let go of? What are things that you're holding on to? Sometimes it's old flames, sometimes it's entire houses. Sometimes, it's a thing that you always thought you might do when you've never done and you realize it's not meant for you. It doesn't serve you. It's no longer the dream you want. We talk about that a little bit on the bucket list episode, right? We talk about, you know, do you really want to go to New Zealand? Or is it that you've always wanted to go to a beach? Or is it the person that talked about that that is somebody you want to spend time with? Or do you want a relationship like you've had with that person is what you're actually looking for? Like, what do you need to let go of, so you can make room for things in your life? So, I'm letting go things, I'm making room for the Arcadia house with the love of my life and making room for this amazing podcast network where I get to help people launch their podcasts and launch their dreams. And I'm loving it. It's amazing. It is definitely my calling and it definitely lines up with all my skills and all my guests, and my desire to serve and make change happen in the world and talk and connect and get to know people and make an impact. I love it. And writing is incredible. But it doesn't quite do all those things the way I want to. But there's still things left for me to write. There's a common time in place for that. But right now I need to let go of that and I need to focus on podcasting.

So for you, what are some things? What's nagging at you? And if it doesn't come up for you, maybe go back to Parm's episode, think about some yoga, bringing some things, the yoga mat to find that, maybe go back to the episode with Benedict and do some breathwork exercises. We have them right there in the episode time marked in the show notes. So you can maybe find some of those things you might be holding on to. Maybe gratitude can help you in finding a way to let go of regret and make room in your life for wonderful things. Because I really think it works like that. So as you walk away from this, just start pondering, what's something that you need to let go of? What might that thing be that you need to let go of? What is that one thing that if you let go of it, there will be more space for some of the other things in your life that you want to make room for? And please send me a DM. I would love to hear from you and hear what your thinking is in it. It means a lot to me to hear from you. That is partly why I'm doing this and why I love it so much.

And for my self care spotlight, I'm going to share with you what I'm doing for my self care. So right now, I am at a writing conference in Las Vegas. 20 books if it's okay. Incredible conference. If you are looking to write books, and you are wanting to do it independently, this is a great community. And this is a great way to do it. So I highly encourage that. Because I am being very gentle with myself, they have things available online. And I am trying to make a schedule in a way that I'm able to prioritize the other pieces, and letting go of me not being able to be at all the sessions and do all the things while I'm here. So that is my way of doing self care this week is that I am not making myself be all the places and do all the things and prioritizing or I need to be focusing on. So that is one way of doing self care. The other way is I did literally bring a coloring book with me. I got my coloring book early for being a guest on the show. And I brought it with me and I brought paints with me. So I'm going to take time for doing some self care by doing some coloring at my coloring book. I'm also finishing up the coloring book you guys are going to have coming out because we are going to have the next one coming out before the end of this month. So that's going to be polished up and I do love creating a coloring book that is also a creative outlet for me just like doing the coloring is. So I get to work on that side, which would be nice and relaxing for me. And I'm also going to do walking. Strangely, Las Vegas is a city that I love for walking. So the b2b on this trip is you got to walk to get to places. Now if only it was a little warmer, y'all, it's like 50 degrees today when I was out at 2pm in the afternoon in Las Vegas, it was ridiculous. It was like, 38 when I left Portland. But it's still ridiculous. So that is out self care spotlight and what I'm doing for self care while I'm here.

Thanks for spending this time with me today. I really did enjoy it. It was nice to get back to having some one on one time with you. And I would love to hear from you what you thought about it as well. Since we have moved away from this format, it'd be great to get your thoughts about what you enjoyed. Or if you prefer the interviews, I can hear that as well. So let me know what you want. The show is for you. If you aren't already following on Instagram, get on over there and follow, @The.Grit.Show. If you are already following us, you'll get to see some of the gratitude out loud in the stories. If you follow 37 by 27 and Author Express podcast, I'll put those in the show notes, you'll be able to see all the posts firsthand coming from the different podcasters and authors that are participating in gratitude out loud. So it'll be a nice thing to have for the last couple weeks of November to have that little bits of gratitude coming in on your feed. You are very welcome to add your gratitude, I'd love to hear from you as well. So please go in there. And as we're getting close to the holidays, I already mentioned that we're going to be launching the second Color of Grit coloring book very soon, for the end of the month. So head on over to the website and join the mailing list. So thegritshow.com. And you'll be the first to hear about that. And you'll get the free coloring pages when you join the mailing list. I hope the rest of your week goes well. And I look forward to being with you again next Tuesday. We'll be chatting with Shelley Meche'tte, about family and the holidays and a little around money mindset. I've also got some great shows planned for December, fun episode around bringing out the joy and hosting which will be great. As well as that heartfelt conversation as supporting others grief especially for the holidays. And an important conversation around how to tell if you're experiencing burnout. So we mentioned both of those a little bit during this episode. So those will be coming out in December. So keep an eye out for those. Until then, take extra good care of yourself. Especially as we get into this busier season when it's harder to find time, and consider what we've talked about today. Take a deep breath, let go of things that aren't serving you. You are the only one of you, the only person, your unique perspective, your unique gifts, your view of the situations in front of you. So take that deep breath and give power to it. You're the only one of you that this world has got and that really does mean something. I look forward to connecting with you again next week.