Celebrating Time- The Anniversary of The Grit Show & How to Make/Keep Adult Friendships -54
We are thrilled to be celebrating the success and one-year anniversary of The Grit Show! It has been an incredible journey, and it wouldn't be possible without all the support and encouragement from our listeners. Did you know that only 10% of podcasts make it to the one-year mark? If you follow Authentic Connections Network on IG @37by27 you are probably well aware of the challenges and joys of podcasting! Very grateful for the supports that make it possible to still be here connecting, growing, and thriving with all of you.
In honor of this milestone, we have a very special guest joining us today. Please welcome Laurie Leal, my oldest friend, and also The Grit Show's biggest fan. She's been a significant part of my life for many years, making her the perfect guest for this episode about finding and keeping friendships as adults. We share a lot of laughter, some stories that make me blush, and also relatable tips on managing friendships as adults. The survival tips, the strategies, and borderline pep talk. You'll walk away feeling seen and like you have an action plan.
Laurie Leal has over twenty years of experience in dental hygiene, and whose impressive career is a side note to all of the ways she's made connections and contributions. She and her family have provided love and care to more than 27 foster kids. She's the foster parent that actively advocates for getting families back together and keeps connected to the kids that have been in her home long after they've transitioned. Currently a mother to 13, with 10 under her roof, and 6 under the age of 6; she's one busy mama. We are fortunate we managed to steal a bit of her time and enjoy her laughter and nuggets of wisdom. She's a guest you will truly finding inspiring and heartwarming.
Laurie shares valuable insights about the challenges of making and maintaining friendships. Her stories and examples will offer reflection and our conversation today is meant to inspire you to value the connections you have and maybe even inspire you to rekindle a friendship from years gone by. Laurie is my proof that surrounding yourself with the right people has an exponentially positive impact on your success and happiness.
Resources we referenced-
Other podcast episodes:
Mastering Intentionality: The Ultimate Guide to Empowering Your Decisions -51 (Episode with Dr. Rishma)
Boundaries - Choosing the Productive Hard Emotions with Jacquelyn Emery -47
TT Cherry Blossoms, Epigenetics, & the Legacy of Trauma -06 (Laurie's Favorite)
Delay Don’t Deny & Fast Feast Repeat with NYT Bestselling Author Gin Stephens -31
The Life You Want: Clutter Free and Sparks of Joy w/Caroline Thor -38 (Episodes Laurie wants to listen to again)
Books & Networking Group:
Women with Moxie Group in Portland, Oregon
We Should All Be Millionaires - Rachel Rogers
Beyond the Pear Blossoms - (Women's Fiction Novel) Shawna Rodrigues
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Transcript
We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at connect@37by27.com.
Shawna Rodrigues [:How much of your success is determined by who you spend your time with? I think it's an interesting question for us to ponder as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of The Grit Show. Because, y'all, that's some success that I've worked very hard for us to reach, and each and every one of you is part of it. Because without each of you listening and cheering me on, we never would have reached the one-year mark. So, thank you for being part of this. And woohoo, we made it. I'm very excited about that because only 10% of podcasts make it this far. Isn't that exciting? And as you know, Authentic Connections, my podcast network, was founded on the basis of trying to support more women, being hosts of podcasts, getting into podcasting and staying in podcasting. And so being able to reach the one-year mark of this show is definitely a part of that and something we're celebrating. So, to celebrate this, we have an exceptional guest today unlike any other guest we've had, which is really hard to do because we've had some pretty outstanding guests. Today, we have my oldest friend. The friend that I have had for the longest, the longest amount of time. She has been my friend for probably 85, probably 85% of my life. That's a long time. I was talking to somebody else and they're like, oh yeah, any friend you've had for like 10, 20 years, that's an old friend. And she definitely outlasts that number by far. So, stick around today because you are going to hear stories from her that you won't get nowhere else. You will actually even hear the story of the only person I've ever slapped. She tells you that story, y'all, and I let you hear it because nobody tells a story like Laurie and it's an honor that she came and is sharing these moments with you from our friendship and from our lives. But we also talk about the challenges of being an adult and finding new friendships when you are in your thirties and your forties and how you find them and how you maintain them. How her and I have managed to maintain a friendship that has spanned for decades because that is a pretty amazing accomplishment. So, I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you're going to stick around so you can learn more about how much that exact percentage of your success is determined by who you spend your time with. You can hear these stories that Laurie has to share and learn a little more about what it takes to find new friends. Some of the ideas about finding new friends when you are later in life as an adult and making those friendships. Thank you for being here and helping us make it to the one-year mark.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Welcome to The Grit Show where our focus is growth on purpose. I'm your host, Shawna Rodrigues, and I'm honored to be part of this community as we journey together with our grit intact to learn more about how to thrive and how to get the most out of life. It means a lot that you are here today. As you listen, I encourage you to think of who may appreciate the tidbits of knowledge we are sharing and to take a moment to pass this along to them. Everyone appreciates a friend that thinks of them and these conversations are meant to be shared and to spark even more connections.
Shawna Rodrigues [:There are some important things you need to know about today's guest, and they might not be the ones you would initially guess. I could tell you about the fact, she has over 20 years of experience as a dental hygienist. And here's a little tip, I got to be one of her first clients when she was still in hygiene school. So, I can tell you she's amazing at it and she's been doing it for a little bit. She also has been a foster mom to more than 27 kids, which that is a pretty important aspect of who she is. She also has specialized in working with newborns and infants with unique needs, and that includes the ones who have been addicted from the time they came out of the womb and often come to her home with withdrawal symptoms that she and her family have been able to help and support them through. She's also the member at large for the Jackson County Foster Parent Association. She's done some amazing things y'all. She's very involved with her church and she's very involved with a lot of folks and being an amazing friend to them. But my favorite things about our guest today is her huge heart. The fact that she is always there for people and she is so giving and when we talk about her being a foster parent, we can give you the impressive pieces about how many kids she's cared for and that she specializes in helping the newborns and little infants. What you won't know is these incredible stories about what she's done for the parents of these kids. The fact that when I was talking to her today before interview, she was telling me the stories about the gifts that she was bringing to them when they were in programs that are helping to make it so they can keep their kids. That she was making sure they had what they needed to be successful. And she's often doing respite care for them so they can keep their kids because that's the reason why she's a foster parent is to keep families together. She is phenomenal. So, I'm so excited to introduce you to Laurie Leal, who I knew for decades as Laurie Sarman. And we are going to have an amazing conversation today because it is the one-year anniversary of The Grit Show. Yes, I think we should have like a special sound for that. Do we want to do a special sound for that? Let's do that. She is here to celebrate with us because, honestly, Laurie is The Grit Show's biggest fan.
Laurie Leal [:Absolutely. Hands down.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. I'm impressed with that. And if you guys know, so I have the Authentic Connections Network, I know a thing or two about podcasts. And one of the things that I teach people in my network is that you have your initial fans that are your friends, that are people you know, and those people fade out, usually around episode 20, 25, and that's when you get your replacement of the people that have heard about it, that are your true fans. And some of the tips and tricks we have to help you find your true audience, because even the love of my life, who was probably listening to this episode because Laurie's on it, and so he's listening for Laurie more than me at this point, but like, he gets busy. He loves me, but he hasn't listened to probably the last 15 episodes. But Laurie, Laurie has listened to them because she is also a true fan as well as being my,
Laurie Leal [:Yeah, I have to. They're so awesome.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I love this. I love this.
Laurie Leal [:They’re so different. But they're so, like, what you need. So, it's really amazing. It's The Grit Show. It's what brings out the grit in us.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I love it. I love it. And that's why I talked Laurie into being our guest today which she is not somebody. She's like, what? So, she stepped up. And our topic, as you guys know, is about maintaining friendships and making friendships at our age. And all those different pieces is the theme of the show. But it's also about celebrating the one-year mark that The Grit Show has made. I made it to one year. And so, she can speak a little bit about the show and about doing that. So, before we get to celebrating, I want for us to talk about, because, have we known each other since, what?
Laurie Leal [:Second grade?
Shawna Rodrigues [:Second grade.
Laurie Leal [:That's when I was thinking back. I was thinking, when did we probably knew each other in first grade. But I was, believe it or not, a little bit shy in first grade. I'm not shy at all now, but in first grade, I think I would have been considered shy. But second grade, I realized that I don't have time for that. So, we need to make some friends. And I ran into Shawna, and we were like buddies. Different classes, but still, I think that's where it started.
Shawna Rodrigues [:It started about second grade. Yes. And we have a long history. We've been through the tough times of junior high and all this. One of my favorite things, Laurie and I are forever friends. We named ourselves that.
Laurie Leal [:Forget best friend.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. Forget best friend. And we decided in high school that best friends were mercurial. Like, they changed. They're your best friend, but it changed who your best friend was. And so, we didn't want to be best friends.
Laurie Leal [:Correct.
Shawna Rodrigues [:That we were forever friends.
Laurie Leal [:We were forever friends.
Shawna Rodrigues [:And that has worked out much better for us.
Laurie Leal [:Way better. Yeah. Because we are legit forever friends. It doesn't stop.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. And we could go back and name who our best friends were probably when we decided that who neither of us really speak to.
Laurie Leal [:Correct. Exactly.
Shawna Rodrigues [:But we are forever friends. And so, we are still friends. So, yes. In the spirit of that, I think that we should share with the listeners a little bit one of our favorite stories from our book, A Friendship, as we're talking about friendship for this episode.
Laurie Leal [:Yes. Yes. Yes.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Do you want me to go first?
Laurie Leal [:Yeah, you go first. And I'm going to think for a second.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yeah. So, we're going to do an oldie and then we're going to do a more recent one. So, my favorite oldie but goodie and this is an oldie, goes back to 6th grade that I'm sure, Laurie remembers. She's involved in this one. Her poor kids, her kids hear these stories. I think her kids are sick of me and these stories because I get together with her and I tell these stories. But one of my favorite stories is really an oldie back to 6th grade, I think. We were in the breezeway of our elementary school and it was 6th grade. I had my little boyfriend at the time, his name was Jeremy. He was my first boyfriend. And Jeremy and I had not kissed at this point in time. And Laurie had a plan to remedy this. She was like this broker of fixing the situation and like, Jeremy like, why haven't you guys kissed? Why hasn't this happened? Like, this needs to be remedied. Like, what's up? All of you parents out there, we're going to kick out of this, this is your new solution to keep your kid from kissing somebody before you're ready for them to kiss them. Apparently, Jeremy's father had told him, if he still hadn't kissed a girl when he turned 16, his dad would buy him a, go fit, fill in the blank. A truck.
Laurie Leal [:A truck, that's right. I was going to say it was either money or a vehicle, but a truck.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Truck. That he would buy him, that if he had not kissed a girl by the time, he turned 16, his dad would buy him a truck. Now, anyone listening, do we think his dad was actually going to buy him a truck?
Laurie Leal [:No. Absolutely not.
Shawna Rodrigues [:No. But we were naive. I really thought that his dad was going to buy him a truck because I didn't know his dad. His dad actually lived in different state. We knew his mom. He lived with his mom. His parents were divorced. I was honestly like, oh, well, that kind of makes sense. But Laurie was having none of this. She's like, no, Jeremy, this needs to happen. So, Laurie, so, I had my first kiss in the 6th grade with Jeremy because our dear fabulous, Miss Laurie, made sure that this happened. And of course, I see, now I can't help it but the sad twist on the story, he actually passed away before his 16th birthday in a motorcycle accident.
Laurie Leal [:Good thing he gave you a kiss.
Shawna Rodrigues [:He was the sweetest boy. I had this little bunny that he gave me and it was precious. I would actually carry it around. It was like a little stuffed bunny. It was named Precious.
Laurie Leal [:And it was really big in 6th grade to have these cute little boyfriends.
Shawna Rodrigues [:These cute little boyfriends. And he was the cutest little boyfriend. He was so marvelous. And his mom, his mom and I still keep in touch. She actually, I have a novel, we'll touch on that a little bit. I have a novel and she actually came to my book signing and had me sign the novel. She’s so, yeah, his mom is still in touch with me to this day. And it's been a little while since I was in 6th grade and we would go to her house to visit my little boyfriend.
Laurie Leal [:Yeah. Around the corner from my house.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes, he lives around the corner from your house. This is how important Laurie has been to my development. My first kiss is partially because of this lovely woman sitting right here next to me.
Laurie Leal [:One of my favorite stories is we were in high school; I don't remember what year it was. Because I'm really bad with memory after all these children. But I remember, her, were you boyfriend and girlfriend at that time?
Shawna Rodrigues [:I don't know the story yet. Oh, possibly. I don't know.
Laurie Leal [:And he was telling her a lie.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Oh, no, we were not together. We were not together.
Laurie Leal [:They had been previously.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes, my high school sweetheart. Yes, my high school sweetheart. We tortured each other after we broke up.
Laurie Leal [:Yes. So, this is an off again thing. And I remember I went over to her because she's like, I've got to confront him. He's lying. And I might have found out he really was lying. And so, she's like, come with me. We're going to confront him together. And I was like, let's do it. So, we go up and he has these really steep stairs. She goes in and asks him and he lies to her again. She goes, tell me one more time. And then all of a sudden, she just slaps him across in the face and in walks his mom. And I thought I was going to die. I was going to fall down the stairs and die because I was like, oh my gosh, we're going to be busted, or whatever. But actually, it was really great. It was one of those moments that I felt like, heck yeah, I am there for you. Like, you know what I mean? We can do these things together. I mean, there's so many funny stories about us, period. Like one time her mom also had a funny story. When we were younger, her mom went out of town and was convinced that we stole all of the lights. Like, the little light bulbs off of their porch. We really didn't.
Shawna Rodrigues [:It was Christmas time, so the Christmas lights were up, and she thought we unscrewed all the light bulbs and stuck them in the mailbox.
Laurie Leal [:Yes. Her mailbox.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:Your mailbox.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. And I got grounded for it.
Laurie Leal [:We couldn’t see each other for a while.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. And we never did it. We never did it. We also got grounded because somebody's house got teepee'd, and they thought we did.
Laurie Leal [:Yeah. They thought it was us.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Because Laurie is just this terrible influence.
Laurie Leal [:Apparently, I'm a terrible influence.
Shawna Rodrigues [:She did get me kissed. She did get me kissed.
Laurie Leal [:I did get her kissed. Maybe I am terrible.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Maybe. Maybe. That's all there is to it.
Laurie Leal [:I mean, there's so many things. One of my adult favorite memories is we were living in Portland together, and one time there was, the county fair in Jackson County was huge.
Shawna Rodrigues [:That’s the town where we were from. Yes. We were from.
Laurie Leal [:And Kenny Chesney was playing.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:And so, Shawna and I both worked in Portland at the time and were living in Portland as roommates at the time. And this would be like 20-year-old us. We decided to just get in the car, come down here for a Kenny Chesney concert.
Shawna Rodrigues [:It's a four-and-a-half-hour drive, like, a little early from work.
Laurie Leal [:But not that early.
Shawna Rodrigues [:But yeah, I didn't explain to our employers that we were just going to be like driving four and a half hours, going to a county fair and a concert for 4 hours and then driving four and a half hours back and getting home at like three or four in the morning and getting up and going to work the next day.
Laurie Leal [:But it was favorite things that we ever did. It was just like, let's just do this. And she's like, okay, let's go. I mean, we just both, I think, decided, let's do this. Anyway, this is just definitely part of our friendship.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. And we also, most recently, we went to Vegas together. I got Laurie away from,
Laurie Leal [:best ever. Best ever.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Laurie away from her family, which we've mentioned that she's fostered a total of 27 kids. And you have how many kids live in your house right now?
Laurie Leal [:Currently, right now, ten.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Ten kids. She has ten kids in her home today, and she also has three kids that are not in her home that are older. So, she's mothered enough for both of us and three more people besides. So, she's done her share of mothering. But we got her away to Vegas, and it was so lovely that I was there for a conference, and so we got to spend evenings together.
Laurie Leal [:It was amazing.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:This was true friendship, you guys. If someone thinks about you and thinks, you know what, she’s stuck with kids every day, all day, and then invites you to Vegas. That is the true forever friend.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:Hands down.
Shawna Rodrigues [:And didn't make her go dancing every night. Even though I'd love to.
Laurie Leal [:I know you would probably love to. At that point, we were a little tired.
Shawna Rodrigues [:We're a little tired. We do more lounging by the pool and more recouping. Yes. And Shake Shack. I love Shake Shack.
Laurie Leal [:So, I drug her to Shake Shack.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Those type of things.
Laurie Leal [:It was very fun, all those types of things.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:Let's do it again.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. So, if you don't have friends like that, or if you have a friend that used to be a friend like that, you should reconnect with those friends. That's a good friend to have. Yes. It's important to have that connection. So, that's part of what we want to talk about is friendships at our age, because we are both in our 40s, which is hard to believe. If you met us and saw, she would never believe. We don't believe we're this age. She has in her house, of those kids, how many of them are six or under four?
Laurie Leal [:Now you're going to make me count.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I am. I'm cruel.
Laurie Leal [:Nine. But we've got,
Shawna Rodrigues [:she's got a number of them that are five of them that are under the age of six or under. So, she has like a number of kids that are so young that you would never, ever guess that she was in her 40s. If you saw her out with that, you think she was much younger. And people mistake me for my age all the time, so you wouldn't guess that we're in our 40s. But I feel like in your 40s, relationships are so much different than they were when you were younger. And the time you have to dedicate to relationships and friendships is so much different, too.
Laurie Leal [:And I feel like the true great friendships are rarer as we get older, because people get busy and they lose connection and they I don't know. And it's hard to find someone who, you know, like, sometimes you're not friends with their spouse or you don't like or do like or you have kids, they don't have kids; you know what I mean? There's just so many things that people can't connect over and so I think that it's very rare at our age to have such a deep friendship. You know, long lasting.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. And that's one of the unique things, I think about us, is that we have very different lives.
Laurie Leal [:Our whole lives have been very different. When you look back at it, like, yeah, high school, you were into drama and she was an amazing actress and great at singing. Like, she did all those things and I was like, you were in leadership too, weren't you? We were both together in leadership. We came back together, but we were very different crowds, very different friends. Very different. Like, our lives were very different.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yeah. We've always connected and yet,
Laurie Leal [:that is familiar thread.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yeah. We've always done very different things with everything we've done. So, we lived together, we lived together for a year, which was amazing. That could be a whole,
Laurie Leal [:beyond amazing. Just saying. Best roommate situation ever.
Shawna Rodrigues [:We have stories about that Christmas trees falling over, cookie fights that had our landlords coming to knock on our door. Oh, my gosh, I forgot about that. Oh, my gosh. And Laurie saving rats from a neighbor who had snakes. And then we had pet rats.
Laurie Leal [:We had pet rats that went in our car with us.
Shawna Rodrigues [:And then we lost them in our car.
Laurie Leal [:That happened, too, having another boy roommate with us.
Shawna Rodrigues [:We did have a boy roommate. Randy. Randy, if you're listening to this, we've lost track of you. Randy from Canada. He's a firefighter. Randy from Canada. That's so funny. Yes. We had quite an adventure the year that we lived together. We went to community college and lived together for a year and then both went very separate ways. I went to Louisiana. You moved back to southern Oregon.
Laurie Leal [:Get serious about hygiene.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. Get serious about dental hygiene. And you met the love of your life and got married not too long after that and started having your beautiful children after that. And I just kept going all these crazy, random places all over.
Laurie Leal [:And you got to do travel, travel, travel, travel. Experience the world. It’s different. But we were always very close.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. And we definitely had seasons where we weren't as focused on each other, but we've always been able to connect deeply whenever we connect, which I love about us.
Laurie Leal [:Yes. We could go, like, months and months. It would always come back to familiar, trusting ground.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. Because I think we always had this nice, deep base. Do you think we would have had that if we didn't live together? Do you think living together really cemented our friendship?
Laurie Leal [:That's a good question, because I think that we made it through high school being very different, and our senior year, we kind of brought it all back together at the same time. So, I think that was a big cementing, like, oh, look, I can have these friends. You can have these friends. But ultimately, we would still always do things together. We would still connect, and we would still talk deeply about everything because we would share everything with each other and our mixtapes that we would make. You know, back in the day. That's what you did.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Oh, my gosh. We actually recorded letters. We would record letters. She was in New Jersey for a time as a nanny, and I was back in Oregon. And we would record letters to each other on tape and send each other letters on tape.
Laurie Leal [:And that was before we were roommates.
Shawna Rodrigues [:That's before we were roommates.
Laurie Leal [:But room mating was really cementing because that was kind of a big, we kind of moved into a weird situation, and we had to be there for each other because, we moved in and we're taking care of somebody, and it didn't work out.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Oh, I forgot about that.
Laurie Leal [:We got to take advantage of extremely bad. So, her and I had to bond together. We're going to fight the world.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:But I will say that Shawna is definitely for, my forever friend. And also, if you've ever heard, Earl had to die from the Dixie Chicks, as soon as I hear that song, Shawna would be the total person that would stub him into a trunk with me, hands down. Right? Like, I really feel like you're that person. No matter where we are, what we're doing. Girl had to dial.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Well, okay. The funny little thing we had to put about this. When Laurie and I moved in together, the first party we had at our house because we threw a Halloween party together, I wrestled her to the ground to get country music out of my stereo because you could not play country music in my stereo at that point in time when we lived together, when we were 19 or whatever else. And by the end of that time or shortly thereafter, we were, like, driving to country concerts in southern Oregon together. This is how much of an influence this beautiful woman has been to me that she's like, Shawna, you love lyrics. You love what things have to say. You love stories. You love stories. Yes, everybody. I love stories. Are you surprised? And so, she found the way. And I think part of the beauty of our friendship is we've always been able to help each other see other perspectives.
Laurie Leal [:100%. Yes.
Shawna Rodrigues [:That's one of the values of our friendship.
Laurie Leal [:Different.
Shawna Rodrigues [:So different that we could, yes.
Laurie Leal [:And when I know I can't see things a certain way, I will call you and be like, okay, help me out. What am I supposed to be feeling here? How am I supposed to be thinking here? Because you know me better than anybody. And so, she will bounce those things off of me and be like, oh, no, don't be so hard on yourself, or you can kind of set me straight without being judgmental or telling me what to do. She just knows how to do it, you guys. She knows me completely and loves me. And I know that what she's saying isn't going to be derogatory or judgmental or awful, but like, she reminds me of the truth that I need to remember. And I think that's probably what's rare about adult friendships is how much history we have, A, and B, that you know me completely, that you know, oh, if I said this, I might piss her off, but she'll be able to accept it because it's us.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yeah. That we can take the hard truths and the reality from each other,
Laurie Leal [:Yeah. Because you would tell me the hard truths every day, which I love. I remember there was a certain time where I was like, what? That is not true. You know, when we were petty. But then as we grow up, I think that's what bonds us and cements everything.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yeah. No, it helps to have that history, I think, too, we were talking about. So, there's this really good book that I'm really into right now. It's called, We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers. It's very good. And there's this chapter in there where she talks about working with one of her clients, and one of them has an annual friend review. And so, we were talking about this annual friendship review, and we were both dying laughing as we're listening to it, and we see the importance of this, right? Where they say, in this past year, who I spent the most time with? And was that friend there for me? Do we have fun bonding times? Are they someone who frequently complains, but they don't ever fix or change those things? Do you look forward to spending time with them? Are they somebody who energizes me, or do they drain me when I spend time with them? So, kind of like, looking, analyzing, who are the people you should have in your life. And so, it was really fun to look at that, and we're both laughing at it, like, well, we would do that every year. Like, how many times we would have dumped each other?
Laurie Leal [:Yeah, we probably would have dumped each other. Like, there are some times were, I definitely, Shawna's way been there for me more than probably, I've been there for you, for sure.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I don't know if I would say that.
Laurie Leal [:But there are certain times in our lives, definitely. And there's certain times where I had to be there for you. But I think if we would have taken that yearly inventory that year, we would have been like, oh, forget it.
Shawna Rodrigues [:If that's just the yearly basis instead of just overall.
Laurie Leal [:Yeah, because it may be like a year of, I need you more than you need me. And there may be a year where you're like, I need you more than you need. You know what I mean? So, I think that the give and take continuously. I definitely don't feel like you ever drain me. So, I think that we wouldn't ever have dumped each other, because I don't think we've ever drained each other. I do complain, and I don't fix things, so don't dump me for that.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I don't think that I see you trying to figure things out.
Laurie Leal [:I do.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I see you trying to figure things out.
Laurie Leal [:But sometimes it takes me a lot longer than the average person.
Shawna Rodrigues [:No, not the average person. I think that you overestimate the average person.
Laurie Leal [:Maybe that's it, too. Shawna’s really good at bringing me back to that too. Honestly, like, she’s just wait, wait, wait,
Shawna Rodrigues [:it's not easy to change things. I think that you're trying to figure out, instead of just being stuck in the same thing, that you're aware that something needs to give, that something needs to change, but what it is, is not easy.
Laurie Leal [:Hidden thing.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yeah. And you're open to trying to figure out what that is.
Laurie Leal [:That's true.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. But you're not looking for me to fix things, and I get that you're not looking for me to fix things. I think we both get that about each other. I think that's a good element to our friendship is that we're not trying to fix each other fix things.
Laurie Leal [:We're just like, oh, hey, what about this? Or point out the things, and I think that we know each other's strengths so much that we're like, oh, remember, you're really good at this. Like, do I buy a gift or just send money? No, dude, you buy a gift because you're the ultimate gift giver. Like, I know that about you.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:My kids are all like, Aunt Shawna's, gifts are the bomb because they're very meaningful. Me, I'm a terrible gift giver. So, you would tell me, yeah, just give them money. So much less stress in your life right now. You know what mean? Like, there's definitely those things.
Shawna Rodrigues [:It's funny, because if you've been listening to the last few episodes, I think that I've been trying to do more of the thinking through if you're problem solving or not. And the episode with Dr. Rishma, like, talking about how good she was at asking for what she needed in her conversations and stuff and trying to introduce that. But I think you and I do that almost instinctively. So maybe that's one reason why our friendship is so strong, because, yeah, I did. I called her. Like, I got this thing for this graduation, and I'm not sure how to take this. Like, I want to send a gift, but they're just giving me ways to send money. Like, how do I handle that? And she could say to me, no, you send a gift. And that's when I needed advice instead of just needing someone to, like, how must I feel about this or just listen to me talk about this.
Laurie Leal [:I think you're right. Like, we are like, oh, hey, no, remember? Because sometimes I think we forget that about our own selves, right? Like, you're right. I do, like, do amazing gifts. This is my strength, not my weakness at this time. You know, because we know each other so well and because we've really stuck it out. I mean, we've been through some crazy stuff.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
Laurie Leal [:Our lives have, I mean,
Shawna Rodrigues [:yeah.
Laurie Leal [:Yeah.
Shawna Rodrigues [:So that goes back. This is a fun thing to touch on. So, I have written a novel, which I don't know how much I've talked about this on the podcast, but my novel. Beyond the Pear Blossoms, and one of my favorite praises for that book is that it talks about different friendships and the way that the girls are able to be supportive of each other. It's about life transitions and how you make those decisions and the people you surround yourself with and how there's support to that, as well as relationships just in general, and making decisions about things. And one of the characters is actually based on Laurie. I'm not going to tell you which one, but one of the characters how was that for you to have somebody like, write a book and have a character based on you?
Laurie Leal [:I loved it. The best part is that I have, you know, adult, well, they're adults. They're 18 and 20, my oldest girls. And they're funny because they're like, Wait, mom, is this one you? Mom, wait, is this one you? And I was like, I don't know. Which one do you think it is? So, it was super awesome. And it was like a total, it was amazing, actually. It was the biggest compliment. And I was like, she's doing her dream because I knew she would always write a book. She's a very good writer. Then it was how to do with us. And I was like, BA. Like, it was amazing.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I love it that you're, because, you know, there's a lot of quality people in that book. Apparently, they all could be mom.
Laurie Leal [:I know. They’re like, hey, Mom, is this what she's talking about, is this you? I'm like, read it. Keep reading. You'll keep reading.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Keep reading. Keep reading. Yeah. I like it.
Laurie Leal [:It was funny.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I like it. That's definitely a positive thing. I definitely get into that. That's kind of awesome. So, with the other friendships in your life at our stage and age, what do you think are some of the important things for maintaining friendships?
Laurie Leal [:I think, like, I was thinking about people that I talk to daily. It's definitely, we have a common thread. Like, we're going through a lot of the same things in life.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Mm, yeah.
Laurie Leal [:So, I think that it's awesome to have those friends and friendships. I think that we support each other in different things and we understand each other. Like, for instance, someone in foster care, they understand exactly. You don't know unless you know, if you're not living it, you have no idea. So, that kind of a friendship is what we do. Like, okay, I'm doing this. And what do you think about that? And mainly it's that. Does that make sense? But I'm so grateful because I have different levels. Not even levels of friendships, just different friendships. Like, for you, you would know the whole picture.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:And these new friends that I have. And sometimes I feel like, okay, I don't want a new friend right now because it's a lot of work.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Oh, my gosh. When I moved to Washington, DC, I moved there with somebody and turned to my partner and I said, I'm not making any friends. I'm only here, I'm only supposed to be here for a year. I'm not making any friends. It didn't work. I still walked in with two good friendships, but I wasn't making any friends. I don't want any more friends. I have too many friendships to maintain. I'm not doing any more friends. And I still walked to two really good friends. And I had a friend who lived there, actually, Lisette, who there's a second greatest fan of The Grit Show because Lisette is listening. And, Lisette, this is your shout out because you are the second biggest fan of The Grit Show. So, she gets that. Her and Laurie are the people that will actually send me notes and keep me all excited on a regular basis about their comments. And I get occasional things from other fans and stuff. You guys, it means the world to me when I hear from you. So, I really appreciate the comments and the different things from that. But Laurie and Lisette are my two biggest fans, who are great about saying, oh, my gosh, I really appreciate this.
Laurie Leal [:See, that was a friendship that you weren't going to have. But it happens. I think certain friends just fall into place and you know when your energy is good, like, okay, this is worth keeping up with, this is worth, I really enjoy this. But then there are some people that I'm like, I can just feel like, it's going to be draining.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I do agree. From that book that's the biggest indicator. If you have people that are energetic drains, that it is good to regularly evaluate. It doesn't even have to be annual. It could be monthly, it could be just whenever you recognize that you shouldn't keep those friendships, life is too short.
Laurie Leal [:And that's what I've actually decided. Like, I am very much a caretaking kind of a person. Go figure.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:But like, I love to make sure everyone's happy and like, I just want everyone to feel comfortable. And I don't like the exclusive person. I love it when everyone feels apart. But there are times where I'm like, I'm not going to be able to take care of this person because I do have more priority people. Like, parents that I really do need to give my time to. That's not forever, it's just to help them get on their feet. But I can't do a needy friendship and parents that need me.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:Does that make sense?
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:So, that's why I like having a friendship like you, like, lifelong. There are very few lifelong friends that would ever come up and I feel super blessed. I don't think we find this kind of friendship every day.
Shawna Rodrigues [:No, it's not that easy. And I think that as adults, I think there is something with recognizing when you have things like your work or if you're a foster parent or if you have other really big, important things that you're doing in your life that you find people you can connect with on those specific things and that's those common interests is what a lot of friendships are built around at our age. But there is a value. I think that in the same book that I was talking about that, We Should All Be Millionaires, she talked about how she did a concerted effort to reconnect with people she kind of disconnected with. And I feel like with the pandemic, especially, people have kind of lost touch. I know with me moving a lot, you lose touch, that there are people of value and if you look back and you're like, this person did bring me joy. I enjoyed our times together, and I've fortunate for some really great people that have been in my friends for a long time. Some of them were drains, and I still stay friends with them because that's what we do sometimes. But there's lots of really great people who give so much and bring me so much joy, and it is good to reconnect and remember those folks. Like when you start to feel like I don't have the friendships I need to put the effort into nurturing those old relationships to bring back.
Laurie Leal [:Because I think we got busy, life gets busy, people forget. And the pandemic did do something on people and their connections. But I think that you're right. Like you look back on that and think, oh, I really enjoyed that person. Why have I not talked to them? Or, you know, maybe I wasn't there for them that much during this time. But I think that the real friends, they're going to get it, and they're like, oh, hey, it's been a long time. Let's just chat up, you know. I don't know. And I think during my everyday life, of course it's the common thread like what are we living and who's doing what, you know what I mean? But it's also important to get those forever friendship, right? Some of my daily people that I talk to don't get all of that because they don't know all of that.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yeah, no, exactly. I think it's good to evaluate if you start to realize that you have more energetic drains to start cutting off the draining relationships and then go back and find the ones to nurture that you were more reciprocating and you got more out of. I think it's important because we do only have so much time to find those and to find ways to even do networking because I know that there's this Moxie women with Moxie group in Portland that I love, that they actually have some just amazing women. Each time I go there, I feel like I find women with good energy and with like, good connecting. So, I think that as a minute, it's good to find women with good energy because those five people, those 95% of your connections are what makes that difference. Remember, that was the, that 95% of your success in life is determined by who you habitually spend your time with and associate with. Dr. David McClelland, I think his name is. Yeah, came up with that thing. He does like human motivation. So, like who you surround yourself with and who you connect with. So, if you feel like you have people that are draining, that are not moving the direction you want to be moving in, that don't get what's important to you, if you have people that are constantly the naysayers, that don't get why you're a foster parent, that don't get why you want to have your own business, that don't get why you want to have a podcast. Who don’t support those things. That you need to surround yourself with people that do that. So, you need to find ways to kind of connect with more people like that.
Laurie Leal [:I agree.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. Isn't that amazing?
Laurie Leal [:Yes.
Shawna Rodrigues [:95% of your success in life is determined.
Laurie Leal [:I agree with that because I tell my kids that daily. Like, remember the people that you surround yourself with. That's how you're going to go where you need to go.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yeah. That makes a big difference in who, that they kind of gear that with. So, with your other foster parent people that you've connected with, how did you find other foster parents to become connected to?
Laurie Leal [:It was really funny, a few of them, one was just getting a baby and needed a bassinet. And I reached out to her, and I can immediately tell, like, you are my people. You are the kind of foster parent I am. You love the bio parents. You really go in with both hands and like, let's do this. And so, then we started being co-parents. That's what we call each other now, because she'll take my kids and I'll take her kids, and we just get it because we're the same. Even if they're hard, hard, like, she'll take them, I'll take them. she needs help. I need help. A lot of give and take.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes, you guys. That is huge.
Laurie Leal [:And then another one was a foster parent way before I was. In fact, I'd met her, actually, as a hygienist. She was one of my patients, which is funny. And then we had talked about funny things like weight loss or things like, moms. And I was like, I really like her. I really just had this. And then she fostered, and I just watched her journey. And at the time, I was trying not to foster anybody because I was like, no, I have seven kids. Just that I already have. That's plenty. I really am good. I don't need more kids. So, then I watched her journey, and then she was like, I know, but if you're really feeling it, like, this might be your thing, and this is what your calling thing is, and so, I was like, okay, fine. I'll do it. And then, like, I needed help, and I don't know. It was just interesting. And then now she's not fostering anymore, and she's like, I don't know how you do this. How are you still doing it? But we have that common thread where she will get the crazy that I'm feeling when I'm feeling it. But like, also not tell me, you're a kid collector, or like the things that people say sometimes, or like, how could you do that? Why are you taking another one? And honestly, you're like, okay, well, it's not for everyone, 100%. But she gets when it's meant to be. Yeah, and when it's meant to be, it's meant to be. And you don't do it for everybody, but this is what we do. And she accepts that. I've had a few that I'm just like, not my people. Yes, they're foster parents, but I'm just kind of like, no, like, draining. I've been kind of watching that too, because with ten kids in your house, you don't have a lot of time to socialize. And so, if I'm going to socialize, it's going to be with someone who I really love. So,
Shawna Rodrigues [:And it needs to give back. It needs to be part of
Laurie Leal [:yes, 100%. Yes.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I love that. Okay, well, this is so good. I could talk to you all night and we could talk, exactly. Amazing. So, I want us to get, because it is a one-year anniversary, what is your favorite episode of the podcast of The Grit Show?
Laurie Leal [:Oh, my gosh, you guys, it's episode number six. It's about the cherry blossoms.
Shawna Rodrigues [:The cherry blossom experiment and trauma.
Laurie Leal [:Oh, my gosh, you guys, the cherry blossom, if you have not listened to it, I actually was out to dinner with a bunch of girls, and I was like, guys, you've got to listen to this because no matter where you are in life, there's always trauma. No matter, with all of us, right?
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes.
Laurie Leal [:Everyday life, like, we all experience trauma one way or another. You guys have to listen to this podcast. It's freaking amazing. I had no idea. And it's helped me daily with the people I interact with. It just will help you in every day. The people that you see, the people you come in contact. Honestly, go listen to that podcast. It was amazing. Like, everything about it.
Shawna Rodrigues [:The funniest thing is that that episode isn't one that's gotten a lot of traffic.
Laurie Leal [:That surprises me.
Shawna Rodrigues [:And I don’t know if it’s the title of it or what it is that throw people off, maybe I should rework the title, because it is. It's about the intergenerational effects of trauma. And this amazing study about cherry blossoms, which is cherry blossoms have this immense meaning to me after learning about the study, about how it can affect people in ways from generations before that you don't even know about it. It’s like the invisible effects of something as innocuous as cherry blossoms can come back to haunt other people generations later. And so, you got to listen to the episode because it goes into better detail. That’s episode six.
Laurie Leal [:It’s so amazing. Like, I mean, I love a lot of them, and a lot of them I will say, oh, my gosh, Shawna, I got to listen to that. In fact, I tell her a lot that I need to go back and listen to some, because some of them I'm just like, oh, my gosh, I need to be writing that down because usually when I listen to podcasts, I'm multitasking, but it's always so amazing. And I'm like, okay, I got to go back and learn about this. And intermittent fasting or organization. There's so many that were so good, and some of them I'm like, what is this going to be. And then I'm always shocked at how different my perspective changes and I learn. That's what I love about this podcast, because you're not getting the same thing every time and you're very much learning. I don't know, I feel like I learn and I grow.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Growth on purpose. It's our tagline, you guys. I did not pay her to say that.
Laurie Leal [:That’s true. That’s true. Growth on purpose.
Shawna Rodrigues [:She automatically does it. Maybe she's heard that a time or two, I don't know. Excellent. Well, good. So, for self-care, what do you do for self-care, Laurie? So, we can get a perspective of how on Earth, a mother with ten kids in her house managed to find space for self-care.
Laurie Leal [:Okay. So, for a long time,
Shawna Rodrigues [:Self-maintenance. Self-maintenance. I'm trying to get self-maintenance.
Laurie Leal [:So, here's the thing. It's funny because I for years have been like, you're funny. I can't go on a walk; I can't take a bubble bath. I mean, there are little fingers that come under the door, there's not even little fingers. They just barge in and they're in the bath. So, I'm just like, forget it. Like, whatever. So, I have recently gotten some goats because I have a little two-year-old who's lactose intolerant. And so, I've heard goat milk is super healing for the gut. We live on a little farm, by the way, and so I got these goats.
Shawna Rodrigues [:The Looney Leal farm.
Laurie Leal [:The Looney Leal farm. It is very looney. I'm just going to say now.
Shawna Rodrigues [:That is very fabulous.
Laurie Leal [:So, we got these goats. And so, with goats, they need to be milked twice a day.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Twice a day. Oh, wow.
Laurie Leal [:And no more than 12 hours apart from each other. And so, it's funny because everyone's like, well, why don't you make the kids go do this and feed the chick? We have pigs, chickens and goats. And so, they're like, why don't you make the kids go out there? And it's kind of behind our house, like in the back pasture, so you have to walk away. And I'm going to tell you, it is self-maintenance because, 05:00 in the morning, because I have to figure out when I can do this so that everything else can get rolling and have a rhythm. And during school, kids have to get up at 6:20, so I have to be done by six. So, in the summer, I might as well just keep doing it. So, five in the morning, I can see the sunrise. It's peaceful. You can hear the roosters crowing. You can hear the pig squealing. She knows I'm there. She's really spoiled. But I sit there and I milk, and it's just like my time. Sometimes I listen to music, sometimes I just think about, okay, how is this day going to go? What do we need to do? Or I just do nothing. I just sit there. Or I call Shawna, because sometimes, a few times and had it like, you know, while I'm collecting eggs and milking goats and talking to my pig, like, very funny. But I never, if you would have said, Laurie, your self-maintenance in high school is when you're going to be milking, I’m never, I would have been like, gross, I'm never drinking goat's milk, never alone milking a goat. Like, no. But here I am. It's interesting because I think you just got to figure it out and what works for you and what calms yourself instead of all the cliche things. Because, like, I love doing puzzles. But doing puzzles with a two-year-old and a ten-month-old is not logical because they like to eat puzzle pieces at two years old.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Exactly. Finding a space and place for calm, like it's the one place you can have to yourself.
Laurie Leal [:Yes. And it's like, interesting that that's the one place that I'm finding it.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes, but you found it.
Laurie Leal [:Yes. And I love it.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Props to you. And it took a while. It wasn’t easy.
Laurie Leal [:It took a very long while because I just kept searching, like, what in the world? And then I was like, hey. And sometimes it's even when I'm making sourdough, like the new craze of sourdough, of course, but some of my kids are ADHD, and so they say diet really is big. And so just making bread, like, quiet, kneading it. If I get really angry, you can just punch the heck out of this dough and be like, interesting ways. But I think you just got to find those ways that get your body happy again.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I love it. That's perfect. And I think it's great for everyone to hear that it's not simple figuring out what you need to do for yourself.
Laurie Leal [:No.
Shawna Rodrigues [:And when you find it, though, it may not be what you thought it was, but if it works, it works. And then to guard it and make sure you have that because it makes a difference. I love it. That's awesome. Wonderful. So, the other thing we could do for everyone is do our grit wit, which is like the takeaway they can take away. So, I'm actually thinking that what we've talked about with kind of evaluating your friendships and deciding if there are friendships that you need to kind of eliminate. Because I think that, that for me,
Laurie Leal [:eliminate or rekindle?
Shawna Rodrigues [:Eliminate or rekindle. And I think that that evaluation of what's draining, I think is the biggest of all the questions, like, who you've had fun with, who brings you joy, who you like to see, whatever else is great for remembering what you need to rekindle. But for the eliminating, I think that's the biggest factor is like, who you feel like is a drain. And it might be because every time you talk to them, it's the same conversation every single time. And that maybe if it's a friend you've had for a long time, you need to be like, hey, like, draw a limit or boundary with it. Because that's a whole another episode about boundaries, right? We could talk to that episode and figure out how to draw boundaries to help that relationship if it's one you've had for a long time. But either to figure out how to do the conversation around boundaries for that or be able to say, like, I just need a break from this relationship for a little while. I need to find something that's rejuvenating for me, that's giving back to me. And if it's a manner of rekindling a friend you've had for a long time, or to find, I love your stories of, like, you're in this, this random person needed a crib and you found a way to make a friendship out of it. Or somebody you had a connection point when you went into foster care that you could make a friendship out of that. Or if you go to find a group event to try to find like, who do you have things in common that make you excited about what you're passionate about to help up level you in the ways that are important. Whether it's like the person you meet at a school event that has a soccer event with your kids, like, to just do that effort, to kindle a relationship with someone who you feel like you might have some connection with, or to go back and say, like, you know what? I have not talked to this person in five years. They had young kids and I didn't yet, and I just had young kids, but I bet you they would have time now. Or, this is somebody I worked with, like five years ago. We don't work together anymore, but they made me laugh like crazy when we did work together. Maybe I should see if they have time for lunch or just even have time to start texting funny things back and forth and see where it goes.
Laurie Leal [:Totally. And I think to also look at who's not fitting it. Like, they don't even ask you about your day. They go on and on and on and on, which is great. You always need a soundboard, but you also need to be heard as well. And I think it's healthy to be like, I think sometimes I've went into friendships where I was like, oh, cool, this person is really awesome. Then I'm like, oh, gosh, it's so yucky. So, I'm going to just kind of step back. I mean, I still think they're cool, but not my person.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Boundary’s to where that person belonged.
Laurie Leal [:Totally.
Shawna Rodrigues [:How you interact with them and make space for the things that are actually going to give back for you.
Laurie Leal [:Yeah, totally.
Shawna Rodrigues [:All right, so that's your grit with this week is to actually look at that, see, evaluate, and put some effort into the stuff you want more of in your life and push down and draw some boundaries around what you want less of in your life. Because,
Laurie Leal [:95% of success in your life,
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes, 95% of success is these people. So that's what you need to put the effort is, who are these people and what are they adding to my life? And what areas do I want more success in my life? Like, am I having a hard time with my partner? And I want people that have successful relationships with their partners, and that's what I need more of in my life. Or do I need to have more stuff with my kids? And I want people to have like, relationships with their kids I love? Or do I want to focus on business and is that where I want people to have more amber relationships with? So, like, think about that even if that's where you want to upend and nurture those relationships and make it happen.
Laurie Leal [:Evaluate, guys. Evaluate.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Evaluate, evaluate. I love it. I love it. Make things happen. That's awesome. Thank you so much. Laurie is so busy, you guys. You heard how busy she is. You can imagine how busy she is.
Laurie Leal [:No.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. And I love and adore all of her children, but her children take a lot of energy, y'all.
Laurie Leal [:A lot of energy, y'all. A lot of energy. But Shawna helps to absorb some of that energy when she comes over because they adore her and Uncle Robie, because, you know, those are kind of their people.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. It's funny, though, because, one of the first times I came over without Uncle Robie, they're just like, where's, where's Robie? Where's, and I'm like, am I not good enough for you guys? Like, yes, he does get on the floor and play with you more, but look at my smile.
Laurie Leal [:Hello. What about me? Is this not good enough?
Shawna Rodrigues [:I've been around longer than he has. Am I not enough? He is amazing, though. Obviously, I adore him too, so he tells. Thank you so much.
Laurie Leal [:You are so welcome. This is so fun.
Shawna Rodrigues [:I appreciate you being a part of the show and giving me feedback on episodes. I love your feedback. And for everyone out there, I'd love for more of your feedback because it does make a difference.
Laurie Leal [:Yeah, it really does. I think. I need to write it down more so that more people could be like, oh, yeah, I thought felt that way too. But I’m finding time to do that. It’s a little bit rough. But, I do find time to at least call or text her and be like, oh my gosh, this was so amazing.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Yes. Or sometimes just a crying emoticon. You never know.
Laurie Leal [:Or like, oh, I don't like that one so much. And she's like, okay, that's totally cool too. That's fine.
Shawna Rodrigues [:How can we fix that? What do we do differently? I like it. I love it. I love it. It makes a difference. Yes. Well, good. Well, thank you for being here.
Laurie Leal [:Yes, thank you for having me.
Shawna Rodrigues [:Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Be sure to jump on over to Instagram and follow us, @The.Grit.Show. And if you aren't already following Authentic Connections Podcast Network, @37by27, you should definitely be doing that as well. Don't forget, you are the only one of you that this world has got. And that means something. I'll be here next Tuesday. I hope you are, too.